Monday, May 21, 2007

Yee Haw Salute - Reynolds Shirks AG Deal and Brings Back Flavored Cigarettes

Ladies and gentlemen, we have another Yee Haw Salute winner!

Remember last year when Reynolds Tobacco "voluntarily" agreed to take flavored cigarettes off the market? Politicians, health officials, youth advocates, and asthmatics everywhere all celebrated this historic agreement. Well you health types didn't figure on one key loophole in Reynold's pledge to remove flavored cigarettes from store shelves.

They didn't mean it.

Take a looky here at this photo taken in New York City a couple days ago.

FLAVORED CIGARETTES ARE BACK BABY!!!!

Reynold's Camel has introduced a new line of flavored cigarettes called "Signature Blends." The new flavor....uh....blends include:
toasted honey ("Mellow"), cocoa and espresso ("Robust"), mint ("Frost"), and of course rooty tooty fruity apple ("Infused").

I tell ya, 2007 is turnin' out to be a banner year fer the good ol' boys at Camel. First they introduce their new pink ribbon breast cancer awarness cigarette and now they reveal they had their fingers crossed when they stuck the flavored cigarettes deal with Elliot Spitzer and other AGs across the rooted tooted fruited plain.

Brilliant tactics and it reminds me of a valuable piece of advice I received from Harlan D. Liardare III himself when I began my tobacco career with the Liardare Tobacco Company.

"Rufus," Mr. Liardare said, "if y'all can't beat 'em, lie to 'em. It'll shut 'em up fer a little while." Wise, wise man Mr. Liardare.

Reynolds actions prove again that the old ways fer big tobacco are still the best ways. Oh and one more thing, just to show that Reynolds and Camel care, check out the bottom corner of the ad.

Y'all see? This ad even contains a plug fer Time Out New York's Kids Edition. Now that, my friends, is what we call synergy.

So congratulations Reynolds and Camel. Ya' lead the way fer us all on how to deal with government and public health issues. Out an out lyin'. And on behalf of the employees and addict...uh...cusomters of tobacco companies everywhere, we take off our big ten gallon, light 'em up and yell YEEEEEE HAAAAAW SALLLUTE!

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