Yee Haw Salute - Reynolds Shirks AG Deal and Brings Back Flavored Cigarettes

Ladies and gentlemen, we have another Yee Haw Salute winner!

Remember last year when Reynolds Tobacco "voluntarily" agreed to take flavored cigarettes off the market? Politicians, health officials, youth advocates, and asthmatics everywhere all celebrated this historic agreement. Well you health types didn't figure on one key loophole in Reynold's pledge to remove flavored cigarettes from store shelves.

They didn't mean it.

Take a looky here at this photo taken in New York City a couple days ago.

FLAVORED CIGARETTES ARE BACK BABY!!!!

Reynold's Camel has introduced a new line of flavored cigarettes called "Signature Blends." The new flavor....uh....blends include:
toasted honey ("Mellow"), cocoa and espresso ("Robust"), mint ("Frost"), and of course rooty tooty fruity apple ("Infused").

I tell ya, 2007 is turnin' out to be a banner year fer the good ol' boys at Camel. First they introduce their new pink ribbon breast cancer awarness cigarette and now they reveal they had their fingers crossed when they stuck the flavored cigarettes deal with Elliot Spitzer and other AGs across the rooted tooted fruited plain.

Brilliant tactics and it reminds me of a valuable piece of advice I received from Harlan D. Liardare III himself when I began my tobacco career with the Liardare Tobacco Company.

"Rufus," Mr. Liardare said, "if y'all can't beat 'em, lie to 'em. It'll shut 'em up fer a little while." Wise, wise man Mr. Liardare.

Reynolds actions prove again that the old ways fer big tobacco are still the best ways. Oh and one more thing, just to show that Reynolds and Camel care, check out the bottom corner of the ad.

Y'all see? This ad even contains a plug fer Time Out New York's Kids Edition. Now that, my friends, is what we call synergy.

So congratulations Reynolds and Camel. Ya' lead the way fer us all on how to deal with government and public health issues. Out an out lyin'. And on behalf of the employees and addict...uh...cusomters of tobacco companies everywhere, we take off our big ten gallon, light 'em up and yell YEEEEEE HAAAAAW SALLLUTE!

Yee Haw Salute - A Doctor I Can Trust

Mornin' y'all, we've got our first Yee Haw Salute!

What's a Yee Haw Salute? Well I'll tell ya. The Yee Haw Salute, son, is the way we honor people for speakin' their minds in the media with the same integrity we use here at the Big Tobacco Blog.

And today's winner is truly a rare thing. A doctor who gets it!

We're proud to award our first Yee Haw Salute to Maryland State Senator Andrew P. Harris, MD. The MD after his name is the key part. That means he's a doctor type. But he's a doctor type who isn't gonna be swayed by little things like common sense or decades of research linking secondhand smoke and cancer. Atta boy Doc!

You see, today's another not so good day for folks like you and me who love to smoke where ever and whenever we dern-well please. The pinheads in the Maryland Senate voted 31-16 to ban smokin' in all bars and restaurants across the state. The bill now goes before the General Assembly on Monday where - of course - it's expected pass as well. Is there no justice in this world!?!

One of the 16 brave ones who're lookin' out for the little feller is Dr. Senator Harris. In today's Baltimore Sun, Dr. Senator Harris points out that these smokin' bans ain't nothin' more than Government intrudin' and at some point you've got to "let people assume the risk."

The doctor displayes more of his trademark brand of public health vision in an article he wrote for a smoker's rights web-site where he compares the risks of so-called secondhand smoke to rock climbin' and white water raftin'. Of course the health nuts would probably say somethin' like "well if I white water raft, you don't tend to get lung cancer from it." But you know how them health fellers - Dr. Senator Harris excluded - like to act like a bunch a smarty paints.

Dr. Senator Harris wisely ignores all this fallderall too and basically says, if ya don't wanna die you just shouldn't be a waitress. Or as he put it, "workers accept those risks in return for wages." YEE HAW! NOW THIS IS THE DOCTOR FOR ME!!!

Dr. Senator Harris your type of public health is an inspiration to us all. On behalf of the employees and addict...uh...cusomters of tobacco companies everywhere, we take off our big ten gallon, light 'em up and yell YEEEEEE HAAAAAW SALLLUTE!

Congratulations Dr. Senator a special carton of smooth rich refreshin' Lairdare Carolina 100's is on the way to you. You can send Dr. Senator Harris a special congratulations of yer own at his email type address: andrew.harris@senate.state.md.us