Golden Oldie: Make Room Fer The American Tobacco Company

Back in the good old days mom, dad and the youngins could gather round the tele with their frozen TV dinners and settle in fer an evenin' of clean family fun. Clean family fun made possible by the generosity of the good folks at the American Tobacco Company and the like.

That was the old openin' fer Make Room Fer Daddy, a highly popular family comedy from the early days of television...when "marketin' to children" was just an innocent concept on one of our internal memos...not the action line of one of them anti-smokin' PSAs. Ah...a simpler age...and I really miss it.

People seem to like these old cigarette ads. I know I do. They're a great nostalgic stroll down memory lane with a long missed old buddy. A buddy who's been forced from the marketplace by a bunch of pinko commie health nuts.

Of course Danny Thomas went on to be the founder of St. Jude's Children's Research Hospital. I get nervous whenever somebody get involved with big health but I guess that's okay. Smoked cigars which ain't as good as cigarettes (because we don't make cigars at Liardare, only smooth rich Carolina leaf 100s). Got a picture of him with a stogie here so that's somethin' in his favor. Passed away from a heart attack in 1991.

In a quirky twist of misery, Danny's wife in this clip, Jean Hagen. You might also remember her as the ditsy movie star in Singin' in the Rain. She passed away from throat cancer in 1977.

Of course this where the health goofs will tell ya' that both throat cancer and heart attacks are associated with smokin'. Stupid health jerks with their tragic ironies.

Silly Ol' Camel: Cigs Are Fer Docs!

Y'all know somethin'.

It just makes me ill to see how the good folks at Camel are havin' their name dragged through the mud right know about them flavored cigarettes ....uh... I mean.... Signature Blends. Accusations are a flyin', states are talkin' about bannin' certain types of smokes and the Feds in Washington might start regulatin' us.

Just terrible and so completely unnecessary.

Fer example, Camel is takin' a beatin' right now, but they have a long history of bein' completely honest with the public about their products and their marketin'. I mean just take a look at this little gem from the good ol' days, before all the doctors in the world got so uppity about stuff like health.

How can anyone look at that ad and say the Feds ought to be buttin' in. I don't get it!?!

Grab the kids. It's another classic singalong from Kent

We found another great Kent ad floatin' around the internet.

If y'all have kids might I suggest teachin' 'em this song as a fun singalong fer a rainy day.

Oh wait a second. I'm sorry. What am I thinkin'? There's no way any ads from big tobacco would appeal to kids. Especially not this one with the cute catchy lyrics and cartoons.

Lost my head fer a second there. Enjoy!

Anti-smokin' ads get the hook

Howdy folks,

Been on the road more than a possum who meet the business end of steamroller lately and just ain't had time to update the Big Tobacco Blog. Suffice to say it was secret business involvin' me and my ol' buddies at Liardare - home of the smooth refreshin' Carolina 100. I'd tell y'all more but I y'all know some things just have to be hush hush.

This story caught my eye out of the UK. That's where London, England is. The government over there created a series of advertisements highlightin' the -so called- "perils of tobacco addiction." Perils my foot. Ain't nothin' better for y'all then the rich blend of a Liardare Carolina 100 at 6 a.m. with that first cup of coffee. Makes me want to take a deep breath right now. Wish I still could.

At any rate, to illustrate these "perils" (note I put quotes on the word perils because I ain't really sure there is perils but I don't want to keep harpin' on the same dead horse) they made it look like they jammed a bunch of hooks into people mouths like they was some sort of walleye in the Lake Obeshaw Fishin' Derby. People got offended as people often do and now the ads have been yanked from...well...where ever the heck they was runnin' 'em, I didn't read the whole thing. I'm just happy somethin' from their side got yanked.

See the thing that gets me is tobacco ads are happy and inspirin'. I mean look at this one from Lucky Strike. The cigarettes are all jolly, square dancin', not dying slow horribly painful deaths. Why can't one of them anti smokin' ads feature a jugglin' squirrel or somethin'. Just a suggestion.

Shucks - Tobacco Ad Spendin' Down

After a few days on the road, we're back at the Big Tobacco Blog. Hope y'all missed us.

It's a dangerous thing, goin' on the road. I'm off fer just a couple days and all of the sudden we get this terrible news. It seems the good ol' boys of my chosen profession have seen fit to decrease the amount of money we're dishin' out fer marketin' and advertisin'. Shameful boys just shameful.

Accordin' to some Washington fellers from the Federal Trade Commission tobacco marketin' dropped by nearly two billion - that's billion with a "b" - dollars from the year 2004 to 2005. I ain't happy about this son!

Of course before I get two worked up, we gotta keep a couple of important points in mind that we all can take comfort in. First while tobacco spendin' is down, we still spent $13.1 billion dollars - that's billion with a "B" on marketin' in '05. So it's kind a like flickin' a small piece of ash off the end of a smooth rich Liardare Carolina 100. It may make that 100 a bit smaller but its still a whole lot a cigarette to smoke.

Also, it ain't like we gotta worry about competition from anti-smokin' types. At times it may seem like y'all see lots of "don't smoke this, don't smoke that" commercials on TV but really states are only spending pennies on the dollar to counteract that $13.1 billion with a "b". Accordin' to this report the ratio of tobacco marketin' to state counter spendin' in 2006 was estimated 28 to 1. And boy, I like them odds.

Well, I gotta say, after sortin' beyond the headline I feel a might better now. And just to finish off yer week on the right note, take a lookey at this great ad fer Kent Cigarettes that tells us all it's a small world after all.

One thing I know: Kids Dig Penguins

I recently went to the Georgia Aquarium. Neat place, lots of fish. Got in trouble for droppin' a line in the Beluga tank but that's a story fer another time.

At any rate, I noticed that them kiddies was all lined up to see the penguins. Don't know what kids like about penguins but I promise ya they're grape ape crazy about the little buggers. Trust me we've done the research.

Well if yer a parent have I got a treat fer you baby! Happy Friday from the Big Tobacco Blog. Go pick up lil' Jimmy or Johnnie or Jenny and park 'em in front of the computer for this. Sit back, relax, fire up a Liardare Carolina 100 and let my friend Puffy the Penguin tell you how your kids can be KOOL!

<
Yup clean as a breath of fresh air baby!

A Classic: You've Come Along Way Baby!

Here's another chestnut from the good ol' days when you could call a gal baby without worryin' about gettin' slapped in the mush. Looky how happy this little filly is with her Virginia Slims. Course not as happy as she be firin' up a smooth, refreshing, cool, Liardare Carolina 100 but whatcha gonna do.

Enjoy!

Nothin' better then Smokin' and Water Skiin'

Don't ya' miss the days when you could water ski and fire 'em up at the same time. I know I do.

Here's a great ol' ad from the 1950's. And I defy y'all to watch this without gettin' that catchy theme song in yer head.

"Smokers who know, now smoke the big O.
Smokers who know, now smoke the big O."

More of the Good Old Days - Flinstone's Cig Ad

As I said, I miss the good old days.

This was sent to me as an example of the long history of tobacco companies marketin' to kids.



Of course that's just nonsense. The Flintstones were a PRIME TIME show, clearly aimed at adults. I mean what kid was gonna know Stony Curtis was supposed to be Tony Curtis? Or Ann-Margrock was supposed to be Ann-Margaret?

It's all above their heads - trust me we've done the research.

It does, however, remind me of the really nice marketin' we had all lined up at Lairdare with Top Cat before the government shut us down.

Oh, and don't even get me started on what they did to us over our Tele-Tubbies campaign in 1998. Hey, three things before you judge. One, that campaign was aimed at mom's not kids. Two, who's to say Tinky Winky didn't smoke in his..her...whatever that thing is' off hours? Three, they were LIGHT cigarettes. Reduced harm people, REDUCED.