RJ Reynold Christmas Playboy Promotion

In the imortal words of Andy Williams, "it's the holiday season, so So hoopdidoo and dickoreedock." Fortunately the good folks at RJ Reynolds haven't forgotten with their brand spankin' new (emphasis on spankin') Holiday-time promotion.


Got this in the ol' inbox just in time for Christmas!

This year you can get that special someone a free subscription to Playboy. Camel is puttin' the ho back in holidays as part of the effort to get y'all hooked ...uh...enjoyin' new Camel Wides.

After all is there any better way to honor the rededication of the Second Temple in Jerusalem or the birth of Jesus than kickin' back with a Camel Wide, thumbin' through a nudie mag and reading about how Ms. December likes sea turtles and long walks on the beach?

To me, that sums up the Holiday season. The heck with yer bell ringin' Santas, and yer family get togethers and the like.

Skin rags and smokes. That's a holday fer me! Yeeee haaaaawwww!

Clubbin' Camels: AG Suit Hits RJR for Rolling Stone spread

Poor ol' Joe Camel can't get a break.

Today, a total of eight busy-body attorneys general have filed lawsuits claimin' Reynold and Camel violated the Master's Settlement Agreement with a big ad campaign in Rollin' Stone magazine. It's all the usual suspects of California, Connecticut, Illinois, New York, Ohio, Maryland, Maine and Washington.

Y'all can read about it here, here, and here as well as about a zillion other places on the web.

So what's all the hub bub about? Camel has already pulled the ads down but thanks to the health nuts over at the Campaign fer Tobacco Free Kids we can still check them out.

Personally I don't see a thing wrong with them, but then again I still can't abide that them government folks made Reynolds drop a perfectly good spokescamel like Joe.

But here's the argument the government types and the health nuts are makin'. It all revolved around that big Master's Settlement Agreement.

Fer them folks that don't remember that's the big lawsuit that allowed local governments to sue the tobacco companies so they could fund important projects like buyin' golf carts fer local courses and government subsidies of tobacco producers.

See the problem is this. Accordin' to that agreement Reynolds sent Joe Camel packin' and vowed never to use cartoons in their advertisin' again.

Well shoot, there may be a couple of cartoons in those ads but it ain't like they got Shrek and Donkey sharin' a pipe or somethin'. Perspective people. That's all I'm askin' fer.

People are losin' focus in this whole debate. Y'all need to ask what these ads are really about.

Music, my friends, music. Independent grassroots honest to goodness music.

Clearly Reynolds has shown they're a company with a big heart and - I'm sorry maybe I just ain't cynical enough - but to me the only thing Camel wants to do is support the arts.

I mean it's in Rollin' Stone. Ain't that one of them newspaper magazines fer music types? Why else in the world would a company like Reynolds possibly want to advertise in a magazine that caters to a musically inclined hip crowd between the ages of 18 and 24 with a modest disposable income?

It's all about the music.

And, I'll be frank, I'm not sure I like the idea of a bunch of city slicker attorneys general tryin' to deprive kids of music.

Did we learn nothin' from Mr. Holland's Opus!?!

America the time has come to put the breaks on these music hatin' health zealots. Like it or not, kids are gonna smoke.

And do you really want them kids to smoke while they're listenin' to corporate bubble gum pop?

Camel is providin' our youth with a choice. Givin' our kids the opportunity to smoke while listenin' to their favorite undiscovered new rock alternative.

And choice is what America is about my friend.

Kudos to Camel. Yer talkin' a beatin' but yer doin' right by our future customers...uh...I mean...kids.

I Hate Disney and the answer to smokin' in the youth market

Lemme tell y'all somethin'.

Dinsey ain't nothin' but a bunch of yellow-bellied cowards. How dare they smite the artistic creativity of creative types by not allowin' smokin' in their kiddie cartoons!?! This is just a complete outrage. And lemme tell y'all somethin' else, I ain't takin' this lyin' down.

In case y'all hadn't heard, the House of Mouse made the big announcement that smokin' will be outlawed in all their family type features. Plus, as if that ain't enough, smokin' will be discouraged in all their films from the Touchstone and Miramax brands. Still worse, they'll be featurin' anti-smokin' PSAs on all movies and DVDs where the characters light up. Ya can read the full article here.

The words beyond the pale seem to fit nicely.

Worth notin' that about 10 years ago Disney digitally removed smokin' from some of their old cartoons includin' the Pecos Bill segment in Melody Time. Ya'll can see the before and after photos to the left.

I stole that image off a really good article on the cartoon at 2719 Hyperion. Y'all can view the original post here.

Disney may think they're doin' the right thing but this is actually the complete wrong approach if they want to discourage the youth market...I mean....kids (sorry, old habits die hard) from lightin' up. And, in all sincerity the smokin' version of Pecos Bill is much more appropriate fer today's kids fer two reasons.

First, Pecos Bill is a cowboy. Look at a calendar people, its 2007! What kid wants to be a cowboy today? Maybe some looser kids in Oklahoma or somethin', but cowboys have no Ipods, no Nintendo WII, no Facebook, no MySpace, they work fer a livin' doin' manual labor all day long, and they spend lots of time outdoors.

Name two kids who'd want to be like that guy. I betcha can't.

So if smokin' is sooooo evil, then - by yer logic - ain't havin' a looser like Pecos Bill, puffin' away, a good thing? I mean, kids don't want to be Pecos Bill and Pecos Bill smokes. Logic people, if P then Q.

My second reason is part of a much larger argument.

Hey people, kids smoke. Kids have always smoked, kids are always gonna smoke. The more we try to prevent kids from smokin', the more we try to take it out of the social mainstream, the more attractive we actually make smokin' fer kids. Think about that one health types.

If ya truly want to make smokin' not cool, or hip, or groovy, or whatever they say nowadays, here's the one thing that sure to work.

Teach it in the schools.

I mean it. Its a radical idea but very progressive if y'all think about it. Mandate that kids must spend no less than 45 minutes a day smokin'. Ya can talk about the history of tobacco in the USA so there's social studies, economics and marketin' lessons. There's the chemistry curriculum in teachin' kids all the natural goodness that goes into makin' a smooth tastin' unfiltered product. Ya can replace gym, savin' school districts money(because after smokin' fer 45 minutes the kids won't be able to run anyway). Also, smokin' helps ya keep the weight off, so yer combatin' childhood obesity and reducin' kids risk of many chonic diseases.

This plan would teach kids valuable lessons and improve their long term health.

And fer ya anti-smokin' types, if ya tell kids they have to do somethin' they'll develop a negative attitude toward it right? Well, there y'all go. After being told to smoke in the schools fer say 12 years or so, I'm sure a certain portion of the market...uh....kids will opt not to continue smokin'. This just seems like the more natural way to do things.

Heck, I'm sure my ol' buddies at Liardare would be willin' to make special brands just fer the kiddies like tooty fruity or chocolate or...oh wait that's been done...we'll we'd figure somethin' out fer y'all.

Anyway, that's the best answer I've heard and trust me, after workin' at a tobacco company all those years we spent a lot of time talkin' about kids.

Candy Flavored Smokes: Saved by the Bell

Yee haw everybody!

Well chalk one up fer the good 'ol boys. We finally won one in New York. And believe you me, that state is so kooky and "health conscience" when it comes to tobacco that this is no small feat.


Thanks to the stallin' efforts of the New York State Senate a proposed ban on flavored failed to pass this year in the Empire State. Now, the good folks at Camel can continue to sell rooty tooty fruity apple infused and the rest without fear of government intervention.

Well, at least as long as nothin' changes on that FDA bill the Feds are talkin' about. But I shudder to think about that one (bluuch...shudder).

But in the meantime, breathe easy smokers of Camel Signature Blends...well as easy as you can. And take stock in the fact that the New York State Senate still values RJ Reynolds' right to develop, manufacture, and market candy and fruit flavored smokes that may or may not (but probably don't) appeal to kids.

If y'all like to show yer appreciation to the New York State Senate you can email their head muckety muck here or call him at the number below.

Senator Joseph L. Bruno
President and Majority Leader43rd Senate District
(518) 455-3191

Flavored Cigs: Goin'...goin'...

The country's first ever ban on flavored cigarettes includin' Camel Signature Blends is on the verge of bein' passed in - where else - New York State.

The story is makin' the rounds and appears on the Capital Confidential Blog which is run by one of them newspaper fellers up there. Word is a ban could come next week.

For shame New York! Now how are the 6% of regular smokers who've tried flavored cigarettes going to get their fix of rooty tooty fruity apple smokes!?! It just ain't fair.

I mean, don't I, as a maker of fine tobacco products, have a constitutional right to make money?

It ain't Camel's fault that kids like fruit.

You know who's really to blame, is them fellers who make Juicy Juice and the like. They're the ones fixin' it so kids like fruit flavors. If they made that juice out of thyme or wheat germ instead of apples and bananas then nobody would be givin' the good ol' boys at Reynolds a hard time.

Them busy body New Yorkers ought to go pick on big-juice, they're the real culprit here. Camel is the victim. All any tobacco company wants to do is create a wholesome product, that is not addictive, not filled with toxic chemicals and not linked to cancer, heart disease, stroke, diabetes, asthma, emphysema or any other disease, syndrome or condition. We do what we do out of love and a desire to satisfy our customers, not out of a blind desire for billions and billions of dollars in profits. Hopefully that clears things up.

Remember Philip Morris motto: "You almost can't say altruistic without Altria."

Altria-istic and Moralistic

Came across this golden oldie from the legendary head of R&D at Philip Morris (now Altria fer those of y'all keepin' score at home), Dr. Helmut Wakeham.



We need more fellers like this who ain't afraid to tell it like it is.

Here Wakeham says that if cigarettes were harmful Philip Morris would quit the business of sellin' cigarettes (a silly thing to promise but it placates them health types I suppose).

Also says Phillip Morris is a moralistic company (although I supposed they'd now be an Altria-istic company fer those of y'all keepin' score at home). Dr. Wakeham also explains there is a great deal of doubt on whether cigarettes are harmful.

I know I fer one doubt that there can be any harm at all in lightin' up a smooth, rich, Liardare Carolina 100. And if that's good enough fer me, should be good enough fer y'all too.

FDA FDSchmay...Smokin' is good fer Pregnant Moms

Ya might have heard there's a bunch of hub bub about whether or not the Feds at the FDA should be regulatin' tobacco companies.

Apparently -surprise surprise - them Free Tobacco fer Kids Campaign fellers are pushin' this nonsense. Of course other mamby pamby health types are in the mix too. They've got a bunch of newspapers callin' fer federal regulations as well here here here and here.

Shameful. I say FDA FDSchmay. Tobacco companies can police themselves. Look at what a good job we done with flavored cigarettes this week. And we've been makin' pledges fer years about our cigarettes.

Fer example take a lookey at this clip from 1971 where then Philip Morris CEO Joseph Cullman vows to take any ingredients found to be dangerous out of cigarettes. He also assures pregnant moms that smokin' is safe and - rightly - points out that cigarettes can actually be good fer moms as some women prefer smaller babies.



Why on Earth would anybody be suggestin' we need Federal regulatin'? Just don't make no sense to me.

Still more fun with Flavors...uh...Blends (I said blends and I never said what kind of flavors...uh...blends)

Lotsa coverage on the Internet about the new Camel Signature line of smokes.

First you have Reynolds finding a sympathetic ear in the Winston Salem Journal. Headline is RJR wants a retraction from them anti-smokin' fellers. Good luck Joe. I'm still waitin' fer 'em to respond to my challenge regardin' the false advertisin' in their name.

You've also got the advertisin' media coverin' the story. Who even knew there was an advertisin' media. What do them fellers do just sit around watchin' commercials all day and then get all Siskel and Ebertey on Pillsbury Doughboy spots? Interestin' gig. Anywho you've got a story in Brandweek which apparently is different from Adweek. I wonder if they have a softball game or somethin' every year against one another.

Lastly the Business Journal at Michigan Live has a story as well. There was also word goin' around that one of the networks was lookin' into the story but has put those plans on hold fer now. We'll see what happens.

More fun with flavors...uh...blends

Well things are gettin' a might touchy on them flavored...uh...blended cigarettes. First of all, ya got them sidewinders at the Campaign Fer Tobacco Free Kids complainin' in a press release.


Incidentally, I don't get the name of the Campaign Fer Tobacco Free Kids. I looked all over their website and I never once found nothin' promotin' free tobacco fer kids. Look fellers if ya put up a petition callin' fer free tobacco fer kids ol' Rufus will be the first one to sign it. But until then y'all might wanna consider changin' that misleadin' name of yers.


Where was I, oh yeah, the next best thing to free tobacco fer kids, flavor...uh...blended cigarettes. Well there's also advertisin' in the new Cosmo and finally, late yesterday the good folks at Reynolds struck back at them health sidewinders with a blisterin' statement.


I'll paraphrase fer y'all but basically my compadres at Camel are sayin' the health folks got it wrong and there ain't nothin' in the agreement that ended the sale of flavored cigarettes.

Now ya might say, "Say what!?!" Especially if ya remember the headlines that announced "Historic Agreement to End Sale of Flavored Cigarettes" and "Reynolds Agrees to Quit Sellin' Flavored Cigarettes in US."


Well Reynolds is sayin', if y'all look at the full agreement (which ya can here) it calls fer them to take all them flavored cigarettes off the shelves and never market anythin' with flavors like rooty tooty fruity apple again.


So they did quit sellin' 'em...fer a whole seven months. And now they've got 'em back on the market, in magazine ad and stores. Heck some folks have even got 'em on Ebay.


And the key, accordin' to Reynolds, is they ain't callin' 'em flavored cigarettes no more. Now they're Signature Blends.

Instead of Mandarin Mint which was oranges and asian mint you've now got Frost which is just asian mint. They moved the oranges to Infused which is also chocked full of rooty tooty fruity appley goodness.

And the names is nice and ambiguous so it ain't obvious what flavor...uh...blend Infused, Frost and the like are. Well unless ya do a two second google search on Camel Infused and get 10 pages of results, but that's neither here nor there.

Heh, I tell ya', them good ol' boys at Camel are slipperier then a goose in a grinder.

So we'll see what happens now. Some folks are callin' fer the Federal Government to regulate tobacco products while some states like New York are talkin' about an out and out ban on flavored cigarettes no matter what they're called.

Stay tuned.

Yee Haw Salute - Reynolds Shirks AG Deal and Brings Back Flavored Cigarettes

Ladies and gentlemen, we have another Yee Haw Salute winner!

Remember last year when Reynolds Tobacco "voluntarily" agreed to take flavored cigarettes off the market? Politicians, health officials, youth advocates, and asthmatics everywhere all celebrated this historic agreement. Well you health types didn't figure on one key loophole in Reynold's pledge to remove flavored cigarettes from store shelves.

They didn't mean it.

Take a looky here at this photo taken in New York City a couple days ago.

FLAVORED CIGARETTES ARE BACK BABY!!!!

Reynold's Camel has introduced a new line of flavored cigarettes called "Signature Blends." The new flavor....uh....blends include:
toasted honey ("Mellow"), cocoa and espresso ("Robust"), mint ("Frost"), and of course rooty tooty fruity apple ("Infused").

I tell ya, 2007 is turnin' out to be a banner year fer the good ol' boys at Camel. First they introduce their new pink ribbon breast cancer awarness cigarette and now they reveal they had their fingers crossed when they stuck the flavored cigarettes deal with Elliot Spitzer and other AGs across the rooted tooted fruited plain.

Brilliant tactics and it reminds me of a valuable piece of advice I received from Harlan D. Liardare III himself when I began my tobacco career with the Liardare Tobacco Company.

"Rufus," Mr. Liardare said, "if y'all can't beat 'em, lie to 'em. It'll shut 'em up fer a little while." Wise, wise man Mr. Liardare.

Reynolds actions prove again that the old ways fer big tobacco are still the best ways. Oh and one more thing, just to show that Reynolds and Camel care, check out the bottom corner of the ad.

Y'all see? This ad even contains a plug fer Time Out New York's Kids Edition. Now that, my friends, is what we call synergy.

So congratulations Reynolds and Camel. Ya' lead the way fer us all on how to deal with government and public health issues. Out an out lyin'. And on behalf of the employees and addict...uh...cusomters of tobacco companies everywhere, we take off our big ten gallon, light 'em up and yell YEEEEEE HAAAAAW SALLLUTE!

New Hampshire Paper Gets it Right!

Kudos from the Big Tobacco Blog to Forster's Daily Democrat in Dover, New Hampshire fer gettin' it right. The paper has a brilliant editorial out this mornin' on smokin' bans and why there's just plain no excuse fer 'em.

Here's a great quote fer y'all where they liken exposin' yer employees to the more than 4000 toxic chemic...uh...natural flavors found in secondhand smoke to servin' a mean Pad Thai.

"...there is nothing sacred about working in or eating at a particular restaurant or bar. There are plenty of them throughout the state. Some even specialize. There are places for pizza and steaks. There are restaurants that specialize in ethnic foods — Greek, Chinese or Thai. Some places only serve subs and wraps. Others offer seven course meals to die for. And some allow smoking while others don't"

Y'all see. Smokin' adds ambiance. It's just the same as specializin' in havin' Baklava er Lo Mein. And, as the paper wrote, some offer meals to die fer...and if Foster's has it's way, that'll include staff.

Well what you may ask does Foster's say about the health dangers of smokin' and secondhand smoke? Wisely, nothin'! There ain't none, at least none worth talkin' about in an editorial. The words secondhand, cancer, disease, lung and heart never appear in the story. Instead they focus on the smell of smoke and the stains it can cause in clothes.

And let me tell all y'all editorial writers somethin', that is THE BEST way to deal with the health concerns about smokin'...DON'T DEAL WITH 'EM. Ignore 'em they'll go away. Trust me on this, we've done the research. The less you talk about things like cancer, heart disease, high blood pressure and secondhand smoke the better it is fer everybody.

So kudos to you Foster's Daily Democrat in Dover, New Hampshire. You're a bold visionary offern' a template for an editorial that every newspaper in the country should be usin'.

I Told Ya So!!! Smokin' Saves Lives!!!

Friends, smokers, fellow addict...uh...customers of Liardare Tobacco Company. Today is the story we've been waitin' fer all our lives. Today is a red letter day. Today is the day we all here at the Big Tobacco Blog can give a big Yee Haw.

There is now proof that smokin' saves lives.

Let me say that again, just to make sure y'all got it.

There is now proof that smokin' SAVES LIVES. Take that pinko health nuts!

Accordin' to the Associated Press, Brenda Corner of Rock Hill, South Carolina was fixin' to have a cigarette after finishin' the dishes. She steps out side, lights up and blamo baby an 80 foot oak crashes through her kitchen.

Reportedly Brenda told her husband "Honey, I know you fuss at me for smokin'. But today it saved my life." She then coughed up a lung, demanded oxygen and collapsed.

Okay that last part didn't happen, I thought I'd just make the obvious joke you health types would, to cut y'all off. See, ol' Rufus is one step up on you fellers. So there.

Now the important question which ain't asked is...what brand of cigarette was she smokin'? Because clearly that company has stumbled onto something and designed a product to protect people from fallin' trees. And I think that surgeon general feller in Washington needs to get off his ol' duff and call for an immediate redesign of cigarette warnings. Change it to somethin' like..."Cigarettes may or may not cause health problems (but they probably don't) but they will protect you from 80 foot oak trees." I could live with that.

Another thing, people made such a fuss a few months back when it was found that big tobacco companies were changing the "so called" addictive properties of cigarettes to make 'em more potent. Well here again health nuts you wrong as wrong can be. If they hadn't monkeyed with the nicotine levels, poor ol' Brenda's nic fit might not have hit at just the moment she was about to be introduced to Alvin and the Chipmunks deluxe condo. One microbe less dioxin in that smoke and she'd be dead as Dillinger right now. I suppose that'd make you health types real happy huh!?!

Well not me baby. I'm glad to know that I live in a world where adjustments in the levels of cigarette chemica....uh...wholesome ingredients can result in people being protected from giant fallin' future reams of paper.

So there it is folks, brought to y'all by the Big Tobacco Blog, irrefutable proof that smokin' saves lives!

YEEEE HAAAAWWWW!

News Round-Up fer Tuesday

Mornin' everybody.

Well the good folks at RJ Reynolds are bein' forced to cough up - no pun intended - $2 billion for that silly MSA thingy. One can only hope their new pink ribbon cigarette will make up some of that lost money. Good luck boys we're a rootin' fer ya here at the Big Tobacco Blog.

On the positive side, the North Carolina legislature is waterin' down their proposed smokin' ban. The law would now only cover bars where adults are allowed. Wait a second here, does that mean all those bars for kids will have to become smoke-free. That's an outrage!

Speakin' of outrages, Ohio is eliminatin' all smokin' in bars and restaurants on May 1. Similar to yesterday's prediction about casinos, I predict that every bar and restaurant will close just as they did in New York and California.

News Round-Up fer Monday

Well don't this just beat all. The Irish have turned against us. According to this story out of...whatever the heck publication this is... pollution inside bars has decreased since they enacted their smokin' ban. In a sign of protest I'm askin' that every one of y'all boycott next year's St. Patrick's day celebratin'.

More bad news. Atlantic City enacted restrictions on smokin' in all their casinos. Obviously, because of this law, all casinos in New Jersey will close immediately, no matter what the New York Times, gaming experts at Poker Mag and those kooks at the British Medical Journal say. And you especially don't want to go this site where people are actually callin' for an all out ban on smokin' in Atlantic City casinos.

On the plus side, there's a brand spankin' new cigarette makin' the rounds. While it ain't from the good folks at Lairdare it's a great marketin' idea. A pink ribbon cigarette for women. You can read more about it here. It really is a brilliant idea, so much so that the folks at Lairdare don't want to miss the boat. I hope you'll help us with our new promotion by takin' a click over at the poll we got running on the Big Tobacco Blog.

Well until next time. Fire 'em up.

Told ya so!

The other day I mentioned that I have a constitutional right to smoke where ever and whenever I dern well please. Well today I'm happy to report that a judge in Colorado is exercisin' my kind of sense. Accordin' to the Denver Post smokin' bans are unconstitutional in Colorado. Somethin' to do with cigar bars and while Lairdare don't sell no cigars, ANY PORT IN A STORM I SAY...YEEE HAAWWW!

Apparently Addams County Judge Robert S. Doyle said the ban violates the due-process rights of bar owners because it don't allow 'em the chance to establish their businesses as cigar bars.

Of course, the real question is why should we limit this just to bars!?! Shouldn't any business be allowed to sell cigars and thus allow smokin' in their establishment? Fer example, what about allowing movie theaters to sell cigars? They could become a movie theater cigar bar. Or how about hospitals that specialize cancer care? Could be a one stop shop.

Before y'all tell me this is too nutty to work check out this great business idea from Smokin' Joe a tobacco maker in Niagara Falls, New York who's on the right track with his "Smokin Joe's Family Fun Center." It's a great place for all your childhood entertainment and cigarette needs. Plus it get them kiddies excited about the Smokin Joe brand.

Cinergy baby, it's all about cinergy!

Auntie Dotal - My Favorite Relative - Goes to New Jersey

Good for the bar and restaurant owners in New Jersey.

In an Associated Press story appearin' throughout the state today, the New Jersey Restaurant Association released new information provin' the smokin' ban is closin' perhaps millions of New Jersey restaurants. The proof is being offered in the form of expert testimony from my favorite relative, good ol' Auntie Dotal. I love Auntie Dotal, you can always count on her. And she makes a mean shoo-fly pie.

Auntie Dotal usually shows anywheres from a month to a year after one of them vile smokin' bans has been put in place. She does all sorts of studyin' where she travels from bar to bar and takes a look see around at what's happenin'. She then reports that information to good folks like smokespeople...uh....spokespeople for bar and tavern groups, smokers rights organizations and other like minded fine upstandin' folks.

Accordin' to the story Deborah Dowdell, president of the New Jersey Restaurant Association, said hundreds of restaurants, bars and taverns have seen sales cut in half while others will be forced to close.

Good old Auntie Dotal is back in town! Oh and never mind none of you smarty pants health types who go and point out things like "this isn't based on any objective meanin'full study" or "this is just one person's opinion" or "what do the hard number say?" Sush I say to y'all. You don't need numbers when you got Auntie Dotal!

And no don't even bother yappin' about that BMJ report "Tobacco Industry Manipulation of the hospitality industry to maintain smoking in public places" from March 2002 that linked the New Jersey Restaurant Association to tobacco companies' efforts to block smokin' bans. Bunch of fuss over nothin'.

Just you wait a couple months from now some other health smarty pants types will probably come out with some study on liquor sales, applications for liquor licenses or unemployment that completely refudiate Aunty's observations. Jerks. Who needs it.

I say Auntie is expert enough for me. So what if the evidence out of California, New York, a dozen other states and several countries shows by and large smokin' bans don't harm businesses in the long term. That doesn't mean things will turn out the same way in New Jersey dag nabbit. And by the way, tobacco companies are businesses and smokin' bans sure as heck harm us!

Look, if Auntie Dotal's word is good enough for restaurant groups and tobacco companies it should be good enough for you! Who's gonna argue with Auntie!?!

Yee Haw Salute - A Doctor I Can Trust

Mornin' y'all, we've got our first Yee Haw Salute!

What's a Yee Haw Salute? Well I'll tell ya. The Yee Haw Salute, son, is the way we honor people for speakin' their minds in the media with the same integrity we use here at the Big Tobacco Blog.

And today's winner is truly a rare thing. A doctor who gets it!

We're proud to award our first Yee Haw Salute to Maryland State Senator Andrew P. Harris, MD. The MD after his name is the key part. That means he's a doctor type. But he's a doctor type who isn't gonna be swayed by little things like common sense or decades of research linking secondhand smoke and cancer. Atta boy Doc!

You see, today's another not so good day for folks like you and me who love to smoke where ever and whenever we dern-well please. The pinheads in the Maryland Senate voted 31-16 to ban smokin' in all bars and restaurants across the state. The bill now goes before the General Assembly on Monday where - of course - it's expected pass as well. Is there no justice in this world!?!

One of the 16 brave ones who're lookin' out for the little feller is Dr. Senator Harris. In today's Baltimore Sun, Dr. Senator Harris points out that these smokin' bans ain't nothin' more than Government intrudin' and at some point you've got to "let people assume the risk."

The doctor displayes more of his trademark brand of public health vision in an article he wrote for a smoker's rights web-site where he compares the risks of so-called secondhand smoke to rock climbin' and white water raftin'. Of course the health nuts would probably say somethin' like "well if I white water raft, you don't tend to get lung cancer from it." But you know how them health fellers - Dr. Senator Harris excluded - like to act like a bunch a smarty paints.

Dr. Senator Harris wisely ignores all this fallderall too and basically says, if ya don't wanna die you just shouldn't be a waitress. Or as he put it, "workers accept those risks in return for wages." YEE HAW! NOW THIS IS THE DOCTOR FOR ME!!!

Dr. Senator Harris your type of public health is an inspiration to us all. On behalf of the employees and addict...uh...cusomters of tobacco companies everywhere, we take off our big ten gallon, light 'em up and yell YEEEEEE HAAAAAW SALLLUTE!

Congratulations Dr. Senator a special carton of smooth rich refreshin' Lairdare Carolina 100's is on the way to you. You can send Dr. Senator Harris a special congratulations of yer own at his email type address: andrew.harris@senate.state.md.us

Cigarette Taxes - Won't they ever learn?

Yee haw y'all.

Although I'm feelin' a little glum this mornin'. You see a bunch of them pointy headed politician types in New York - where else - are talkin' about raising taxes on cigarettes. And - of course - the local papers are fully in support. You can read more about the whole sad circumstance here and here.

Won't these people ever learn. Smokin' is good for public health. Don't believe me, listen to this English feller explain the whole thing. Ever notice how everythin' sounds more credible when it's bein' spoke by an English feller. Don't know why but it does.