Tobacco Taxes Kill People: Bipartisan Agreement in Congress Calls for More Gang Activity, Increased Attacks on Truckers

In a stunnin' development a bipartisan (that means both Republicans and Democrats) bunch of kooks in Washington, called fer more crime, specifically gang activity and increased attacks on truckers throughout the United States!!!


When will this madness end!?! Ya see, accordin' to the New York Times, theses government lunatics are callin' fer higher tobacco taxes. And I've been doin' some research on tobacco taxes at RJ Reynold's new corporately organized, grassroots movement website called NoCigTax.

Lemme tell ya somethin' boys and girls if you ain't been to nocigtax.com yer missin' some important knowledge. This grassroots effort of well paid volunteers, has put together pack and a half of info on why cigarette taxes are the worst thing since Ebola.

My favorite part is this page which shows y'all in simple terms the top 10 reasons why it's clear tobacco taxes are an idea spawned in hell. Numbers 3 and 8 on the top 10 deal with how cigarette taxes increase crime at home.

Accordin' to the irrefutable suppositions of Reynolds American's marketin' department, there will be more cigarette truck hijackins if tobacco taxes go up. No indication of how much they'll go up, fer example the ratio of holdups per ten cent increase. But, over the years, tobacco company have shown their honesty and I think we can all just take 'em at their word.

Number 8 on the list is basically the same as number 3 - hey cut 'em some slack, it ain't easy comin' up with 10 whole reasons. That one basically says the higher the tobacco taxes ya got the more organized crime ya got.

Taxes make cigarettes more valuable and criminals will want to sell more of them, earnin' them more money. Earnin' more money makes it easier fer them to kill people and steal your car.

Well it doesn't actually say that last part but ya'll can fill in the blanks the same as I can. And again, there's no actual stats listed linkin' crime increases to tobacco taxes but really, who ever heard of a dishonest tobacco company? Joe Camel don't lie.

Ya see people, cigarettes don't kill people. Tobacco taxes do. Why on earth would the government would come out in favor of truck robberies, the mafia, along with the Bloods and the Crypts is beyond me. Haven't these folks seen Goodfellas, or Colors, or Breakin' 2 the Electronic Boogaloo? Crime is bad and it ain't the Government's job to be promotin' it through tobacco taxes. Where's Homeland Security when ya'll need 'em?

One final note. Fortunately, I ain't the only one who musta read Reynolds top 10 list. President Bush has seen the light and accorin' to today's Times will veto the tobacco tax bill. Well thank goodness fer small miracles. Hang tough George, hang tough. And take comfort in knowin' the bigtobaccoblog is 100% behin' ya'll.