RJ Reynold Christmas Playboy Promotion

In the imortal words of Andy Williams, "it's the holiday season, so So hoopdidoo and dickoreedock." Fortunately the good folks at RJ Reynolds haven't forgotten with their brand spankin' new (emphasis on spankin') Holiday-time promotion.


Got this in the ol' inbox just in time for Christmas!

This year you can get that special someone a free subscription to Playboy. Camel is puttin' the ho back in holidays as part of the effort to get y'all hooked ...uh...enjoyin' new Camel Wides.

After all is there any better way to honor the rededication of the Second Temple in Jerusalem or the birth of Jesus than kickin' back with a Camel Wide, thumbin' through a nudie mag and reading about how Ms. December likes sea turtles and long walks on the beach?

To me, that sums up the Holiday season. The heck with yer bell ringin' Santas, and yer family get togethers and the like.

Skin rags and smokes. That's a holday fer me! Yeeee haaaaawwww!

Clubbin' Camels: AG Suit Hits RJR for Rolling Stone spread

Poor ol' Joe Camel can't get a break.

Today, a total of eight busy-body attorneys general have filed lawsuits claimin' Reynold and Camel violated the Master's Settlement Agreement with a big ad campaign in Rollin' Stone magazine. It's all the usual suspects of California, Connecticut, Illinois, New York, Ohio, Maryland, Maine and Washington.

Y'all can read about it here, here, and here as well as about a zillion other places on the web.

So what's all the hub bub about? Camel has already pulled the ads down but thanks to the health nuts over at the Campaign fer Tobacco Free Kids we can still check them out.

Personally I don't see a thing wrong with them, but then again I still can't abide that them government folks made Reynolds drop a perfectly good spokescamel like Joe.

But here's the argument the government types and the health nuts are makin'. It all revolved around that big Master's Settlement Agreement.

Fer them folks that don't remember that's the big lawsuit that allowed local governments to sue the tobacco companies so they could fund important projects like buyin' golf carts fer local courses and government subsidies of tobacco producers.

See the problem is this. Accordin' to that agreement Reynolds sent Joe Camel packin' and vowed never to use cartoons in their advertisin' again.

Well shoot, there may be a couple of cartoons in those ads but it ain't like they got Shrek and Donkey sharin' a pipe or somethin'. Perspective people. That's all I'm askin' fer.

People are losin' focus in this whole debate. Y'all need to ask what these ads are really about.

Music, my friends, music. Independent grassroots honest to goodness music.

Clearly Reynolds has shown they're a company with a big heart and - I'm sorry maybe I just ain't cynical enough - but to me the only thing Camel wants to do is support the arts.

I mean it's in Rollin' Stone. Ain't that one of them newspaper magazines fer music types? Why else in the world would a company like Reynolds possibly want to advertise in a magazine that caters to a musically inclined hip crowd between the ages of 18 and 24 with a modest disposable income?

It's all about the music.

And, I'll be frank, I'm not sure I like the idea of a bunch of city slicker attorneys general tryin' to deprive kids of music.

Did we learn nothin' from Mr. Holland's Opus!?!

America the time has come to put the breaks on these music hatin' health zealots. Like it or not, kids are gonna smoke.

And do you really want them kids to smoke while they're listenin' to corporate bubble gum pop?

Camel is providin' our youth with a choice. Givin' our kids the opportunity to smoke while listenin' to their favorite undiscovered new rock alternative.

And choice is what America is about my friend.

Kudos to Camel. Yer talkin' a beatin' but yer doin' right by our future customers...uh...I mean...kids.

Poll: Women Keep Smokin' To Keep Thin

This week is the annual American Cancer Society Great American Smokeout. So expect to hear a lot of gobbly guck about how bad smokin' is fer ya. This is like Christmas to them heath nuts.

Makes me sick.

I am so tired of hearin' about how terrible smokin' is fer ya. Nobody ever talks about the real benefits of tobacco and smokin'. It's all lung cancer this and emphysimia that. Blah blah blah. What about the economic benefits? What about the health benefits? What about all the great advances big tobacco companies (like my beloved Liardare Tobacco)?

In the words of legendary 1990's philosopher Susan Powder, "Stop the Insanity."

So, to counter act this so-called Smokeout, I'm gonna provide y'all with a little bit of truth. Truth you won't read elsewhere (except on the news sites that originally post the stories I link to).

Take this story fer example. It's from the Earth Times, which sounds like a very important name fer a newspaper. Accordin' to the story a new poll out shows women are afriad to quit smokin' because they might gain weight.

The study was done by a lil' phillie named Cindy Pomerleau who's some sort of book worm at the University of Michigan. Apparently she's done a whole bunch of research on the topic. Her work is great, but unfortunately it looks like the health nuts got to her too. All of her conclusions are of the "smokin' is bad fer ya" ilk.

Consider a couple of things Pomerleau found:

• 75 percent of women smokers were unwillin' to gain more than 2.25 kg if they quit smokin'


• Nearly 50 percent were unwillin' to gain any weight at all


• While there are many reasons why some women don't quit smokin', fear of weight-gain is high on the list


• many women began smokin' because they believed it would help 'em stay thin

Ya see folks nicotine is a natural appetite suppressant. That means smokin' makes it so y'all ain't hungry. Some folks also say smokin' burns 200 calories per day. Of course much of the same thing could be said about heroin but never mind that.

So at the end of the day, y'all can jump on yer treadmills or yer stair masters or - if yer smart like me - y'all can just light up six or eight packs of unfiltered goodness. Same difference. Besides if yer smokin' six or eight packs a day, then a treadmill or StairMaster is probably the last place in the world y'all want to be.

Now I think this is really an opportunity that we're missin' here. Tobacco should begin marketin' itself and cross brandin' with the diet industry. Just imagine it: Slim Fast Lights, Atkins 100's, South Beach Signature Blends. Trust me folks I am on to somethin' here and my friends in big tobacco ought to be payin' attention.

There's an obesity epidemic in this country and big tobacco can be part of the solution. Offer fat kids cigarettes. Yer a new mom tryin' to loose weight, here's a free pack of Lucky's. There's lots of stuff like that we could do.

Why are we, as an industry, cedin' the heath argument to health groups? Just cause the got doctors and research and credentials and science and common sense and such don't mean they need to win that part of the debate.

Besides, you know what we got that they ain't got? A big pile of money. And if we got to spend every last dime to convince people that smokin' can be fun and healthy then we sure ought to!

iPhone offered as prize by Cancer Society in YouTube Contest

Well don't this just beat all.

Hot off the heels of last month's encouragin' article about YouTube bein' a safe haven fer tobacco companies lookin' to get the word out, we get this from the mamby pambies at the American Cancer Society and their Great American Smokeout video contest.



Personally I find it a might disgraceful that them American Cancer folks are buttin' in on the party over at YouTube. It's been said that "www" means "wild wild west" that means we got us a a safe place to spread the word without hassles like this from health nuts. Oh and there weren't no iPhones nor Cancer Societies nor Smokeyouts in the wild wild west. So what the heck is they doin' on my YouTubey.

And the fact they're usin' an iPhone as first prize stinks three ways to Sunday as well. I guess the deal is, they want ya'll to post a short video - under a minute long - tellin' folks why they shouldn't smoke. In the words of a slack jawed Gen-Xer, whatever. They got all their rules and such posted here at their new antismokin' site.

Sounds like an easy way to get one of them iPhones or an iPod but I won't be enterin'. I ain't sellin' out. My integrity and my retirement package from Liardare are worth 10 times one of them iPhones.

So y'all can enter, an win yer iPhone or yer iPods but I'm stickin' to my principles. Stick that in yer pipe and...well....do whatever you non-smokin' types do with pipes.

Pro Smoking ads on YouTube

Check this out from the ABC of Australia.  Apparently tobacco companies are findin' a new home on YouTube.  Good fer them.

Pro-smoking 'ads' target youth market on YouTube

by youth affairs reporter Michael Turtle

Posted Fri Sep 28, 2007 6:48am AEST

Over the years, governments have slowly restricted the ways that cigarettes can be marketed - so perhaps it's not surprising that new technologies are being brought into the fray.

Although the tobacco companies deny it, one leading anti-smoking academic accuses them of using websites like YouTube to reach a younger client base.

'Smoking equals fun' reads the title of one video.

Another one is called 'Nice day for a girl to have a smoke'.

A simple search on YouTube brings up dozens of items, apparently glamorising cigarettes.

"Here's a cigarette and a lighter which is all we need to perform the trick and see who's gonna win the bet," one video says.

Professor Simon Chapman from Sydney University's School of Public Health says tobacco companies are turning to the web to attract young people.

He says the videos and the online forums do not generally look like ads, but they do promote the idea of smoking.

"People standing around talking about how wonderful it is to smoke, how anti-smoking laws should be disobeyed," he said.

"A lot of soft porn-style messages, the scantily clad women smoking cigarettes and showing how you should hold a cigarette, that sort of thing."

Figures show that smoking amongst young people is at its lowest level since surveys started, at just under 20 per cent of 17-year-olds.

But Professor Chapman is worried that the good work of anti-smoking campaigns could be undone by ambush marketing online.

"You can see how many of these have been watched because they have web counters on them," he said.

"You can see the number of downloads and you can see the number of kids responding to them and saying yeah, wow, great cool, you know go for it, I love smoking, this sort of thing.

"If I were in the tobacco industry I'd be working overtime to make sure those clips are out there in a large variety of ways, and it looks like they're doing that."

The tobacco industry says it is very hard to stop people uploading videos or talking about topics on the internet.

Nerida White from cigarette company Philip Morris says the online videos have nothing to do with the firm's marketing tactics.

"We don't use the web to advertise or promote our products or smoking at all," she said.

"And we don't think people should be able to advertise or promote tobacco on the internet."

Regardless of who is creating the content, there are calls for it to be regulated.

Quit Victoria spokeswoman Suzie Stillman wants the Federal Government to tighten restrictions, to try to bring the internet into line with other forms of media.

"The Commonwealth could look at ways in which internet content hosts and internet service providers could be required to take down or block access to certain material if it contravenes tobacco advertising legislation," she said.

Govt concerned

Federal Communications Minister Helen Coonan says she is worried by the reports.

She has announced that the Government will look into the issue, to see if the internet is already covered by current legislation, or if it needs to be updated.

"We may have to actually broaden the definition of publication," she said.

"At the moment it's prohibited if it's in a document, if it appears in a film or a radio program or it's put in a public place. There's some argument about whether it's specific to the internet."

But the internet can also be used for positive messages.

Ms Stillman points out that there are also a number of anti-smoking messages on the web.

"We can promote anti-smoking information. We can promote non-smoking images in the same way as I suppose they're being promoted on the other side," she said.

In fact, one ad that shows mouth cancer as a consequence of smoking has already been viewed more than 150,000 times online.

The anti-smoking lobby has described the new online landscape as the battleground for the lungs of our youth.

And if it's a war that's beginning, the Quit campaign is prepared to fight back.

 

Stupid Tragic Ironies

Stumbled across this over at YouTube. Remember when we had the post Danny Thomas a couple months back. Well here's another smarty paints video on legendary action star Steve McQueen.

Trade Secrets: Don't watch this

Caught this on the boob tube the other night and now its up on the Internet. Just disgraceful the amount of stuff that's on line nowadays.

The information in this video is about what's in a cigarette. It's trade secrets folks and ya shouldn't be watchin' it. I'm postin' it here just to highlight how out of control health types are by exposin' the time held traditions of my industry.

So don't watch it.

And if ya do, lemme tell y'all somethin' before ya get worked up. This IS NOT another good example of why the FDA needs to regulate cigarette makers. We use only the cleanest brooms when we sweep tobacco dust off the floor and reconstitute it into new fresh smooth Liardare Carolina 100's.

It's all very safe and wholesome, take my word fer it.





As a former tobacco executive, you might think I'd feel an affinity to a fellow former leader in big tobacco. Fer the most part that's true but not when it comes to turncoat Jeffery Wigand. Y'all can read more about him here.

Couple years back Wigand became a famous whistle blower by exposin' trade secrets like the ones in that terrible video above. That's like givin' up the Masons secret handshake. Omerta my friend. Ya just don't do stuff like that.

Anywho, his story got made into a movie called the Insider. I didn't see it. What is that gonna tell me that I don't already know?

So don't watch the video and remember we can police ourselves just fine. We don't need no FDA pointy headed jerks tellin' us our business. Trust us, we don't!

I Hate Disney and the answer to smokin' in the youth market

Lemme tell y'all somethin'.

Dinsey ain't nothin' but a bunch of yellow-bellied cowards. How dare they smite the artistic creativity of creative types by not allowin' smokin' in their kiddie cartoons!?! This is just a complete outrage. And lemme tell y'all somethin' else, I ain't takin' this lyin' down.

In case y'all hadn't heard, the House of Mouse made the big announcement that smokin' will be outlawed in all their family type features. Plus, as if that ain't enough, smokin' will be discouraged in all their films from the Touchstone and Miramax brands. Still worse, they'll be featurin' anti-smokin' PSAs on all movies and DVDs where the characters light up. Ya can read the full article here.

The words beyond the pale seem to fit nicely.

Worth notin' that about 10 years ago Disney digitally removed smokin' from some of their old cartoons includin' the Pecos Bill segment in Melody Time. Ya'll can see the before and after photos to the left.

I stole that image off a really good article on the cartoon at 2719 Hyperion. Y'all can view the original post here.

Disney may think they're doin' the right thing but this is actually the complete wrong approach if they want to discourage the youth market...I mean....kids (sorry, old habits die hard) from lightin' up. And, in all sincerity the smokin' version of Pecos Bill is much more appropriate fer today's kids fer two reasons.

First, Pecos Bill is a cowboy. Look at a calendar people, its 2007! What kid wants to be a cowboy today? Maybe some looser kids in Oklahoma or somethin', but cowboys have no Ipods, no Nintendo WII, no Facebook, no MySpace, they work fer a livin' doin' manual labor all day long, and they spend lots of time outdoors.

Name two kids who'd want to be like that guy. I betcha can't.

So if smokin' is sooooo evil, then - by yer logic - ain't havin' a looser like Pecos Bill, puffin' away, a good thing? I mean, kids don't want to be Pecos Bill and Pecos Bill smokes. Logic people, if P then Q.

My second reason is part of a much larger argument.

Hey people, kids smoke. Kids have always smoked, kids are always gonna smoke. The more we try to prevent kids from smokin', the more we try to take it out of the social mainstream, the more attractive we actually make smokin' fer kids. Think about that one health types.

If ya truly want to make smokin' not cool, or hip, or groovy, or whatever they say nowadays, here's the one thing that sure to work.

Teach it in the schools.

I mean it. Its a radical idea but very progressive if y'all think about it. Mandate that kids must spend no less than 45 minutes a day smokin'. Ya can talk about the history of tobacco in the USA so there's social studies, economics and marketin' lessons. There's the chemistry curriculum in teachin' kids all the natural goodness that goes into makin' a smooth tastin' unfiltered product. Ya can replace gym, savin' school districts money(because after smokin' fer 45 minutes the kids won't be able to run anyway). Also, smokin' helps ya keep the weight off, so yer combatin' childhood obesity and reducin' kids risk of many chonic diseases.

This plan would teach kids valuable lessons and improve their long term health.

And fer ya anti-smokin' types, if ya tell kids they have to do somethin' they'll develop a negative attitude toward it right? Well, there y'all go. After being told to smoke in the schools fer say 12 years or so, I'm sure a certain portion of the market...uh....kids will opt not to continue smokin'. This just seems like the more natural way to do things.

Heck, I'm sure my ol' buddies at Liardare would be willin' to make special brands just fer the kiddies like tooty fruity or chocolate or...oh wait that's been done...we'll we'd figure somethin' out fer y'all.

Anyway, that's the best answer I've heard and trust me, after workin' at a tobacco company all those years we spent a lot of time talkin' about kids.

Tobacco Taxes Kill People: Bipartisan Agreement in Congress Calls for More Gang Activity, Increased Attacks on Truckers

In a stunnin' development a bipartisan (that means both Republicans and Democrats) bunch of kooks in Washington, called fer more crime, specifically gang activity and increased attacks on truckers throughout the United States!!!


When will this madness end!?! Ya see, accordin' to the New York Times, theses government lunatics are callin' fer higher tobacco taxes. And I've been doin' some research on tobacco taxes at RJ Reynold's new corporately organized, grassroots movement website called NoCigTax.

Lemme tell ya somethin' boys and girls if you ain't been to nocigtax.com yer missin' some important knowledge. This grassroots effort of well paid volunteers, has put together pack and a half of info on why cigarette taxes are the worst thing since Ebola.

My favorite part is this page which shows y'all in simple terms the top 10 reasons why it's clear tobacco taxes are an idea spawned in hell. Numbers 3 and 8 on the top 10 deal with how cigarette taxes increase crime at home.

Accordin' to the irrefutable suppositions of Reynolds American's marketin' department, there will be more cigarette truck hijackins if tobacco taxes go up. No indication of how much they'll go up, fer example the ratio of holdups per ten cent increase. But, over the years, tobacco company have shown their honesty and I think we can all just take 'em at their word.

Number 8 on the list is basically the same as number 3 - hey cut 'em some slack, it ain't easy comin' up with 10 whole reasons. That one basically says the higher the tobacco taxes ya got the more organized crime ya got.

Taxes make cigarettes more valuable and criminals will want to sell more of them, earnin' them more money. Earnin' more money makes it easier fer them to kill people and steal your car.

Well it doesn't actually say that last part but ya'll can fill in the blanks the same as I can. And again, there's no actual stats listed linkin' crime increases to tobacco taxes but really, who ever heard of a dishonest tobacco company? Joe Camel don't lie.

Ya see people, cigarettes don't kill people. Tobacco taxes do. Why on earth would the government would come out in favor of truck robberies, the mafia, along with the Bloods and the Crypts is beyond me. Haven't these folks seen Goodfellas, or Colors, or Breakin' 2 the Electronic Boogaloo? Crime is bad and it ain't the Government's job to be promotin' it through tobacco taxes. Where's Homeland Security when ya'll need 'em?

One final note. Fortunately, I ain't the only one who musta read Reynolds top 10 list. President Bush has seen the light and accorin' to today's Times will veto the tobacco tax bill. Well thank goodness fer small miracles. Hang tough George, hang tough. And take comfort in knowin' the bigtobaccoblog is 100% behin' ya'll.

Golden Oldie: Make Room Fer The American Tobacco Company

Back in the good old days mom, dad and the youngins could gather round the tele with their frozen TV dinners and settle in fer an evenin' of clean family fun. Clean family fun made possible by the generosity of the good folks at the American Tobacco Company and the like.

That was the old openin' fer Make Room Fer Daddy, a highly popular family comedy from the early days of television...when "marketin' to children" was just an innocent concept on one of our internal memos...not the action line of one of them anti-smokin' PSAs. Ah...a simpler age...and I really miss it.

People seem to like these old cigarette ads. I know I do. They're a great nostalgic stroll down memory lane with a long missed old buddy. A buddy who's been forced from the marketplace by a bunch of pinko commie health nuts.

Of course Danny Thomas went on to be the founder of St. Jude's Children's Research Hospital. I get nervous whenever somebody get involved with big health but I guess that's okay. Smoked cigars which ain't as good as cigarettes (because we don't make cigars at Liardare, only smooth rich Carolina leaf 100s). Got a picture of him with a stogie here so that's somethin' in his favor. Passed away from a heart attack in 1991.

In a quirky twist of misery, Danny's wife in this clip, Jean Hagen. You might also remember her as the ditsy movie star in Singin' in the Rain. She passed away from throat cancer in 1977.

Of course this where the health goofs will tell ya' that both throat cancer and heart attacks are associated with smokin'. Stupid health jerks with their tragic ironies.

A Musical Tribute to Flavored Cigarettes

Well if this don't beat all.

When I stumbled across this I thought it would be more fun with singin' cigarettes like in them old Lucky Strike ads. But no, some darned health nut is makin' the case that flavored cigarettes...uh...I mean...Signature Blends ain't good fer kids.

What a bunch of hooey! I mean what kid would ever find a chocolate, mint or rooty tooty fruity apple flavored cigarette appealin'?



Couple of notes on this here video. I'll betcha when they quote that tobacco memo at the beginin' they're talkin' about this one from the Legacy Foundation's Tobacco Archives.

When they say that Reynolds has been developin' flavored cigarettes since the 70's they probably mean this memo as an example.

Oh and that bit about the 6% of smokers tryin' flavored cigs and kids cottonin' to 'em more is most likely from this Roswell Park Cancer Institute study.

Then y'all got that bit about the flavors bein' picked because they appeal to kids. Utter nonsense, so don't read this memo backin' up that claim.

The video closes with Camel's temporary removal of their Exotics line from last year. We've covered the AG deal on flavored cigarettes before and the introduction of Signature Blends a bunch here at the Big Tobacco Blog. The full list of stuff is on the flavored cigarettes label.

Again, this whole hub bub is a shame. I still don't rightly understand why nobody is willin' to take Reynolds and Camel at their word. What have they ever done to make people think they're interested in marketin' to kids?

Candy Flavored Smokes: Saved by the Bell

Yee haw everybody!

Well chalk one up fer the good 'ol boys. We finally won one in New York. And believe you me, that state is so kooky and "health conscience" when it comes to tobacco that this is no small feat.


Thanks to the stallin' efforts of the New York State Senate a proposed ban on flavored failed to pass this year in the Empire State. Now, the good folks at Camel can continue to sell rooty tooty fruity apple infused and the rest without fear of government intervention.

Well, at least as long as nothin' changes on that FDA bill the Feds are talkin' about. But I shudder to think about that one (bluuch...shudder).

But in the meantime, breathe easy smokers of Camel Signature Blends...well as easy as you can. And take stock in the fact that the New York State Senate still values RJ Reynolds' right to develop, manufacture, and market candy and fruit flavored smokes that may or may not (but probably don't) appeal to kids.

If y'all like to show yer appreciation to the New York State Senate you can email their head muckety muck here or call him at the number below.

Senator Joseph L. Bruno
President and Majority Leader43rd Senate District
(518) 455-3191

Hot Off the Inbox: Camel Mobilizes "Confidentially"

Camel Cigarettes are mobilizin' smokers across these United States.

Take a look at this "Camel Confidential" email alert that just hit the inbox of a friend of the Big Tobacco Blog. Apparently some movement is afoot to add a 61 cent tax per pack to all cigarettes.

Of course this is completely unacceptable. We in the tobacco industry are very concerned about the unfair taxation of smokers. Oh and it has absolutely nothing to do with all the studies that show people quit smoking when cigarette taxes go up.

_________________________________________________
SURGEON GENERAL'S WARNING: Cigarette Smoke Contains Carbon Monoxide.
_________________________________________________

Dear Rufus:

Right now, there is an effort underway by some politicians in Washington, D.C., to increase the federal excise tax on cigarettes by up to 61 cents per pack.

That would be a 156% tax increase!

Added to the current excise tax rate of 39 cents per pack, the federal excise tax on cigarettes could soar to $1.00 per pack, or $10.00 per carton!

It’s time to take action and tell U.S. Senators and Representatives that enough is enough!

Click here to contact your U.S. Senator and Representative and tell them you are against any attempt to increase the federal excise tax on tobacco products. Urge them to vote against any tax increase.

Call toll-free 1-877-857-8074 to be connected to your elected official. This is a free call.
For more information on this important issue, please visit http://www.nocigtax.com/.

Between the federal tax, state and local taxes, and settlement payments, the government raked in almost $33 BILLION in 2006 – just from smokers. More than $7 billion of that went to the federal government alone.

But is that enough for them? No! Some politicians in Washington want to raise the tax significantly higher, placing an even greater economic burden on already over-taxed adult smokers.

Cigarette excise taxes are regressive, unfairly singling out lower-income adult smokers to pay even more. This is an unfair form of “tax profiling.”

Take action today and keep the politicians in Washington out of your wallet!

This e-mail is being sent to you since you indicated that you are a legal age tobacco consumer and that you wanted to receive e-mails announcing special offers and news from R.J. Reynolds Tobacco Company's tobacco brands. It is intended for the addressee only and should not be forwarded.

P. S. We hope you enjoyed receiving this message. Click here if you do not want to receive future e-mails from R.J. Reynolds Tobacco Company (this will not affect offers sent to you from R.J. Reynolds Tobacco Company through regular U.S. mail.)To change your e-mail address, please visit email.rjrt.com. If you want to contact us, please go to the brand website and send an e-mail or call 1-877-265-1913. You can write us at: Camel Consumer Relations, P.O. Box 2959, Winston-Salem, NC 27102-2959. FILTERS HARD PACK 16 mg. "tar", 1.3 mg. nicotine av. per cigarette by FTC method. Actual amount may vary depending on how you smoke. For T&N info, visit www.rjrttarnic.com.

Silly Ol' Camel: Cigs Are Fer Docs!

Y'all know somethin'.

It just makes me ill to see how the good folks at Camel are havin' their name dragged through the mud right know about them flavored cigarettes ....uh... I mean.... Signature Blends. Accusations are a flyin', states are talkin' about bannin' certain types of smokes and the Feds in Washington might start regulatin' us.

Just terrible and so completely unnecessary.

Fer example, Camel is takin' a beatin' right now, but they have a long history of bein' completely honest with the public about their products and their marketin'. I mean just take a look at this little gem from the good ol' days, before all the doctors in the world got so uppity about stuff like health.

How can anyone look at that ad and say the Feds ought to be buttin' in. I don't get it!?!

Flavored Cigs: Goin'...goin'...

The country's first ever ban on flavored cigarettes includin' Camel Signature Blends is on the verge of bein' passed in - where else - New York State.

The story is makin' the rounds and appears on the Capital Confidential Blog which is run by one of them newspaper fellers up there. Word is a ban could come next week.

For shame New York! Now how are the 6% of regular smokers who've tried flavored cigarettes going to get their fix of rooty tooty fruity apple smokes!?! It just ain't fair.

I mean, don't I, as a maker of fine tobacco products, have a constitutional right to make money?

It ain't Camel's fault that kids like fruit.

You know who's really to blame, is them fellers who make Juicy Juice and the like. They're the ones fixin' it so kids like fruit flavors. If they made that juice out of thyme or wheat germ instead of apples and bananas then nobody would be givin' the good ol' boys at Reynolds a hard time.

Them busy body New Yorkers ought to go pick on big-juice, they're the real culprit here. Camel is the victim. All any tobacco company wants to do is create a wholesome product, that is not addictive, not filled with toxic chemicals and not linked to cancer, heart disease, stroke, diabetes, asthma, emphysema or any other disease, syndrome or condition. We do what we do out of love and a desire to satisfy our customers, not out of a blind desire for billions and billions of dollars in profits. Hopefully that clears things up.

Remember Philip Morris motto: "You almost can't say altruistic without Altria."

RJR Research: Flavored Cigs Look like Somethin' Younger Kids Would Like

Oh boy. Another RJ Reynolds memo has surfaced on flavored cigarettes, and this one ain't pretty either.
The latest is from a 1980's market research study on infusin' tastes like chocolate and lemon into cigarettes. Reynolds tested the idea of flavors out on both male and female smokers and it went over like somethin' that came out the south side of Joe Camel.

This is from page 36 of an 111 page consumer research study on flavored cigarettes. You can read the full thing here.

Accordin' to research done on RJR's existin' smokers, they weren't interested in flavored cigarettes and noted that the concept reminded them of somethin' non-smokers would find impressive. Worst of all Reynold's internal research showed current smokers felt flavored cigarettes would appeal more to younger kids rather than someone who's been smokin' fer awhile. Well that's just crazy talk!

Of course now some know-it-all health type will compare this to what RJR's Tommy Payne said a couple of weeks ago about the long-standin' controversies regardin' the manufacturin', marketin' and use of tobacco products needin' to be resolved.

Then the health nuts will likely point out the memo from the 70's we had last week and connect the dots to this newly discovered market research they did in the 80's.

And then I betcha those do gooders will say "long standin' controversy over, Reynolds internal paperwork from the 70's and the 80's show they know full well Camel Signature Blends are fer kids."

Makes me sick how people can be so unfair. Why do bad things have to happen to good Camels?

Silly Ol' Camel Cigarettes Are Fer Kids

So this whole flavored cigarette thing just don't seem like it's goin' away any time soon. Apparently states like New York (of course) are workin' on passin' laws to ban 'em fer good. And there's all sorts of talk about FDA regulation.

Guess some folks just didn't take kindly to Camel re-introducin' flavor...uh...blended cigarettes so soon after pullin' 'em off the shelves. Oh well. Win some loose some.

Reynolds defense is that they ain't callin' 'em by their fruity names so it don't violate any agreements. In a press release smokesperson Tommy Payne went on to say "we believe the long-standin' controversies regardin' the manufacturin', marketin' and use of tobacco products need to be resolved.”

Amen brother.

Of course then some smarty-paints, health-nut type might post this little beauty in response. It's an internal document from Reynolds dated May 9, 1974 which appears to resolve some of them long-standin' controversies regardin' the manufacturin' and marketin' of flavored cigarettes.


Here Reynolds is tryin' to come up with new cigarette ideas and - if y'all look at section number three it appears to show the birth of Frost, Infused, Mellow and Robust. In case y'all have trouble makin' it out the third idea says:

"Another segment of the total market is the new smoker market (youth market). Make a cigarette which is obviously youth oriented. This could involve cigarette name, blend, flavor and marketing technique. The concept would be similar to that employed by Boone Farm Wines; for example a flavor which would be candy-like but give the satisfaction of a cigarette."

Ouch.

Well hopefully none of those health folks will find it and post in on-line. With some sort of reminder about what the new flavor...uh....signature blends are.

Just imagine readin' that memo followed by a description of Camel Robust as “similar to notes found on cocoa and espresso”; Camel Mellow as “accented with toasted honey”; Camel Frost as “Fine Asian Mint… while the creamy finish delivers a smooth, buttery aftertaste”; and Camel Infused as offering “notes of Citrus” and “a sweet apple-like flavor.”

That would be bad.

Grab the kids. It's another classic singalong from Kent

We found another great Kent ad floatin' around the internet.

If y'all have kids might I suggest teachin' 'em this song as a fun singalong fer a rainy day.

Oh wait a second. I'm sorry. What am I thinkin'? There's no way any ads from big tobacco would appeal to kids. Especially not this one with the cute catchy lyrics and cartoons.

Lost my head fer a second there. Enjoy!

Altria-istic and Moralistic

Came across this golden oldie from the legendary head of R&D at Philip Morris (now Altria fer those of y'all keepin' score at home), Dr. Helmut Wakeham.



We need more fellers like this who ain't afraid to tell it like it is.

Here Wakeham says that if cigarettes were harmful Philip Morris would quit the business of sellin' cigarettes (a silly thing to promise but it placates them health types I suppose).

Also says Phillip Morris is a moralistic company (although I supposed they'd now be an Altria-istic company fer those of y'all keepin' score at home). Dr. Wakeham also explains there is a great deal of doubt on whether cigarettes are harmful.

I know I fer one doubt that there can be any harm at all in lightin' up a smooth, rich, Liardare Carolina 100. And if that's good enough fer me, should be good enough fer y'all too.

FDA FDSchmay...Smokin' is good fer Pregnant Moms

Ya might have heard there's a bunch of hub bub about whether or not the Feds at the FDA should be regulatin' tobacco companies.

Apparently -surprise surprise - them Free Tobacco fer Kids Campaign fellers are pushin' this nonsense. Of course other mamby pamby health types are in the mix too. They've got a bunch of newspapers callin' fer federal regulations as well here here here and here.

Shameful. I say FDA FDSchmay. Tobacco companies can police themselves. Look at what a good job we done with flavored cigarettes this week. And we've been makin' pledges fer years about our cigarettes.

Fer example take a lookey at this clip from 1971 where then Philip Morris CEO Joseph Cullman vows to take any ingredients found to be dangerous out of cigarettes. He also assures pregnant moms that smokin' is safe and - rightly - points out that cigarettes can actually be good fer moms as some women prefer smaller babies.



Why on Earth would anybody be suggestin' we need Federal regulatin'? Just don't make no sense to me.

Still more fun with Flavors...uh...Blends (I said blends and I never said what kind of flavors...uh...blends)

Lotsa coverage on the Internet about the new Camel Signature line of smokes.

First you have Reynolds finding a sympathetic ear in the Winston Salem Journal. Headline is RJR wants a retraction from them anti-smokin' fellers. Good luck Joe. I'm still waitin' fer 'em to respond to my challenge regardin' the false advertisin' in their name.

You've also got the advertisin' media coverin' the story. Who even knew there was an advertisin' media. What do them fellers do just sit around watchin' commercials all day and then get all Siskel and Ebertey on Pillsbury Doughboy spots? Interestin' gig. Anywho you've got a story in Brandweek which apparently is different from Adweek. I wonder if they have a softball game or somethin' every year against one another.

Lastly the Business Journal at Michigan Live has a story as well. There was also word goin' around that one of the networks was lookin' into the story but has put those plans on hold fer now. We'll see what happens.

More fun with flavors...uh...blends

Well things are gettin' a might touchy on them flavored...uh...blended cigarettes. First of all, ya got them sidewinders at the Campaign Fer Tobacco Free Kids complainin' in a press release.


Incidentally, I don't get the name of the Campaign Fer Tobacco Free Kids. I looked all over their website and I never once found nothin' promotin' free tobacco fer kids. Look fellers if ya put up a petition callin' fer free tobacco fer kids ol' Rufus will be the first one to sign it. But until then y'all might wanna consider changin' that misleadin' name of yers.


Where was I, oh yeah, the next best thing to free tobacco fer kids, flavor...uh...blended cigarettes. Well there's also advertisin' in the new Cosmo and finally, late yesterday the good folks at Reynolds struck back at them health sidewinders with a blisterin' statement.


I'll paraphrase fer y'all but basically my compadres at Camel are sayin' the health folks got it wrong and there ain't nothin' in the agreement that ended the sale of flavored cigarettes.

Now ya might say, "Say what!?!" Especially if ya remember the headlines that announced "Historic Agreement to End Sale of Flavored Cigarettes" and "Reynolds Agrees to Quit Sellin' Flavored Cigarettes in US."


Well Reynolds is sayin', if y'all look at the full agreement (which ya can here) it calls fer them to take all them flavored cigarettes off the shelves and never market anythin' with flavors like rooty tooty fruity apple again.


So they did quit sellin' 'em...fer a whole seven months. And now they've got 'em back on the market, in magazine ad and stores. Heck some folks have even got 'em on Ebay.


And the key, accordin' to Reynolds, is they ain't callin' 'em flavored cigarettes no more. Now they're Signature Blends.

Instead of Mandarin Mint which was oranges and asian mint you've now got Frost which is just asian mint. They moved the oranges to Infused which is also chocked full of rooty tooty fruity appley goodness.

And the names is nice and ambiguous so it ain't obvious what flavor...uh...blend Infused, Frost and the like are. Well unless ya do a two second google search on Camel Infused and get 10 pages of results, but that's neither here nor there.

Heh, I tell ya', them good ol' boys at Camel are slipperier then a goose in a grinder.

So we'll see what happens now. Some folks are callin' fer the Federal Government to regulate tobacco products while some states like New York are talkin' about an out and out ban on flavored cigarettes no matter what they're called.

Stay tuned.

Yee Haw Salute - Reynolds Shirks AG Deal and Brings Back Flavored Cigarettes

Ladies and gentlemen, we have another Yee Haw Salute winner!

Remember last year when Reynolds Tobacco "voluntarily" agreed to take flavored cigarettes off the market? Politicians, health officials, youth advocates, and asthmatics everywhere all celebrated this historic agreement. Well you health types didn't figure on one key loophole in Reynold's pledge to remove flavored cigarettes from store shelves.

They didn't mean it.

Take a looky here at this photo taken in New York City a couple days ago.

FLAVORED CIGARETTES ARE BACK BABY!!!!

Reynold's Camel has introduced a new line of flavored cigarettes called "Signature Blends." The new flavor....uh....blends include:
toasted honey ("Mellow"), cocoa and espresso ("Robust"), mint ("Frost"), and of course rooty tooty fruity apple ("Infused").

I tell ya, 2007 is turnin' out to be a banner year fer the good ol' boys at Camel. First they introduce their new pink ribbon breast cancer awarness cigarette and now they reveal they had their fingers crossed when they stuck the flavored cigarettes deal with Elliot Spitzer and other AGs across the rooted tooted fruited plain.

Brilliant tactics and it reminds me of a valuable piece of advice I received from Harlan D. Liardare III himself when I began my tobacco career with the Liardare Tobacco Company.

"Rufus," Mr. Liardare said, "if y'all can't beat 'em, lie to 'em. It'll shut 'em up fer a little while." Wise, wise man Mr. Liardare.

Reynolds actions prove again that the old ways fer big tobacco are still the best ways. Oh and one more thing, just to show that Reynolds and Camel care, check out the bottom corner of the ad.

Y'all see? This ad even contains a plug fer Time Out New York's Kids Edition. Now that, my friends, is what we call synergy.

So congratulations Reynolds and Camel. Ya' lead the way fer us all on how to deal with government and public health issues. Out an out lyin'. And on behalf of the employees and addict...uh...cusomters of tobacco companies everywhere, we take off our big ten gallon, light 'em up and yell YEEEEEE HAAAAAW SALLLUTE!

Anti-smokin' ads get the hook

Howdy folks,

Been on the road more than a possum who meet the business end of steamroller lately and just ain't had time to update the Big Tobacco Blog. Suffice to say it was secret business involvin' me and my ol' buddies at Liardare - home of the smooth refreshin' Carolina 100. I'd tell y'all more but I y'all know some things just have to be hush hush.

This story caught my eye out of the UK. That's where London, England is. The government over there created a series of advertisements highlightin' the -so called- "perils of tobacco addiction." Perils my foot. Ain't nothin' better for y'all then the rich blend of a Liardare Carolina 100 at 6 a.m. with that first cup of coffee. Makes me want to take a deep breath right now. Wish I still could.

At any rate, to illustrate these "perils" (note I put quotes on the word perils because I ain't really sure there is perils but I don't want to keep harpin' on the same dead horse) they made it look like they jammed a bunch of hooks into people mouths like they was some sort of walleye in the Lake Obeshaw Fishin' Derby. People got offended as people often do and now the ads have been yanked from...well...where ever the heck they was runnin' 'em, I didn't read the whole thing. I'm just happy somethin' from their side got yanked.

See the thing that gets me is tobacco ads are happy and inspirin'. I mean look at this one from Lucky Strike. The cigarettes are all jolly, square dancin', not dying slow horribly painful deaths. Why can't one of them anti smokin' ads feature a jugglin' squirrel or somethin'. Just a suggestion.

A Lowe's is a Loews...not really

Howdy y'all.

Did ya ever read somethin', take action, and then find out you read the dad blamed thing wrong. I stumbled across this story today about Loews makin' big profits on tobacco. And y'all know me, profits and tobacco are my two favorite words.

Now I see Loews commercials on TV all the time. Think they got Gene Hackman doin' their announcin'. Nice feller, made a better Lex Luther than the guy from Seven. But I'm gettin' off track.

I read the story and got all excited about Loews investin' in cigarettes. Sure I bought the occasional shovel from 'em or here and there some pete moss, but I never knew they was one of the good guys. Who knew Loews made cigarettes? I mean it ain't in their fliers or nothin'.

So I hoped in my nicotine scented white and gold SUV and hauled my way over to the local home improvement big box store to pick up somethin'...anythin' just to show my support for another big tobacco company.

Make a short story long, I mosey up to the counter with a trowel, two piece of ceramic tile, and a roll of plumbers tape. The checkout gal asks me if there's anythin' else I need.

"Yes mam," I replied. "I just want to say that I am proud that yer company is makin' and sellin' cigarettes, and I support yer efforts 100 percent."

The little lady looked at me kind of funny and stated "I'm sorry sir we don't sell cigarettes."

To which I responded, "You don't!?! Well hell's bells chicky you oughter, accordin' to the story I just read Loews profits just rose 26 percent off its cigarette lines. You should be sellin' cigarettes from floor to ceilin', you should be givin' 'em away with the power tools."

I continued on with my strong business argument on why Loews should embrace their tobacco heritage and sell, sell, sell, 'till the cows come home. After about 5 minutes or so the people behind me started fussin' so I figured it was time to move on.

Everyone was lookin' at me like I grew a third eye er somethin'. Well it wasn't until I got home that I figured out why. Apparently there's two Loews. There's Loews the owner of Lorillard tobacco company and then there's Lowe's the home improvement store. Much to my chagrin they're two different companies all together.

Wish I'd read that article more closely before I got to the store. Anybody need a trowel, two piece of ceramic tile, or a roll of plumbers tape?

Shucks - Tobacco Ad Spendin' Down

After a few days on the road, we're back at the Big Tobacco Blog. Hope y'all missed us.

It's a dangerous thing, goin' on the road. I'm off fer just a couple days and all of the sudden we get this terrible news. It seems the good ol' boys of my chosen profession have seen fit to decrease the amount of money we're dishin' out fer marketin' and advertisin'. Shameful boys just shameful.

Accordin' to some Washington fellers from the Federal Trade Commission tobacco marketin' dropped by nearly two billion - that's billion with a "b" - dollars from the year 2004 to 2005. I ain't happy about this son!

Of course before I get two worked up, we gotta keep a couple of important points in mind that we all can take comfort in. First while tobacco spendin' is down, we still spent $13.1 billion dollars - that's billion with a "B" on marketin' in '05. So it's kind a like flickin' a small piece of ash off the end of a smooth rich Liardare Carolina 100. It may make that 100 a bit smaller but its still a whole lot a cigarette to smoke.

Also, it ain't like we gotta worry about competition from anti-smokin' types. At times it may seem like y'all see lots of "don't smoke this, don't smoke that" commercials on TV but really states are only spending pennies on the dollar to counteract that $13.1 billion with a "b". Accordin' to this report the ratio of tobacco marketin' to state counter spendin' in 2006 was estimated 28 to 1. And boy, I like them odds.

Well, I gotta say, after sortin' beyond the headline I feel a might better now. And just to finish off yer week on the right note, take a lookey at this great ad fer Kent Cigarettes that tells us all it's a small world after all.

New Hampshire Paper Gets it Right!

Kudos from the Big Tobacco Blog to Forster's Daily Democrat in Dover, New Hampshire fer gettin' it right. The paper has a brilliant editorial out this mornin' on smokin' bans and why there's just plain no excuse fer 'em.

Here's a great quote fer y'all where they liken exposin' yer employees to the more than 4000 toxic chemic...uh...natural flavors found in secondhand smoke to servin' a mean Pad Thai.

"...there is nothing sacred about working in or eating at a particular restaurant or bar. There are plenty of them throughout the state. Some even specialize. There are places for pizza and steaks. There are restaurants that specialize in ethnic foods — Greek, Chinese or Thai. Some places only serve subs and wraps. Others offer seven course meals to die for. And some allow smoking while others don't"

Y'all see. Smokin' adds ambiance. It's just the same as specializin' in havin' Baklava er Lo Mein. And, as the paper wrote, some offer meals to die fer...and if Foster's has it's way, that'll include staff.

Well what you may ask does Foster's say about the health dangers of smokin' and secondhand smoke? Wisely, nothin'! There ain't none, at least none worth talkin' about in an editorial. The words secondhand, cancer, disease, lung and heart never appear in the story. Instead they focus on the smell of smoke and the stains it can cause in clothes.

And let me tell all y'all editorial writers somethin', that is THE BEST way to deal with the health concerns about smokin'...DON'T DEAL WITH 'EM. Ignore 'em they'll go away. Trust me on this, we've done the research. The less you talk about things like cancer, heart disease, high blood pressure and secondhand smoke the better it is fer everybody.

So kudos to you Foster's Daily Democrat in Dover, New Hampshire. You're a bold visionary offern' a template for an editorial that every newspaper in the country should be usin'.

One thing I know: Kids Dig Penguins

I recently went to the Georgia Aquarium. Neat place, lots of fish. Got in trouble for droppin' a line in the Beluga tank but that's a story fer another time.

At any rate, I noticed that them kiddies was all lined up to see the penguins. Don't know what kids like about penguins but I promise ya they're grape ape crazy about the little buggers. Trust me we've done the research.

Well if yer a parent have I got a treat fer you baby! Happy Friday from the Big Tobacco Blog. Go pick up lil' Jimmy or Johnnie or Jenny and park 'em in front of the computer for this. Sit back, relax, fire up a Liardare Carolina 100 and let my friend Puffy the Penguin tell you how your kids can be KOOL!

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Yup clean as a breath of fresh air baby!

I Told Ya So!!! Smokin' Saves Lives!!!

Friends, smokers, fellow addict...uh...customers of Liardare Tobacco Company. Today is the story we've been waitin' fer all our lives. Today is a red letter day. Today is the day we all here at the Big Tobacco Blog can give a big Yee Haw.

There is now proof that smokin' saves lives.

Let me say that again, just to make sure y'all got it.

There is now proof that smokin' SAVES LIVES. Take that pinko health nuts!

Accordin' to the Associated Press, Brenda Corner of Rock Hill, South Carolina was fixin' to have a cigarette after finishin' the dishes. She steps out side, lights up and blamo baby an 80 foot oak crashes through her kitchen.

Reportedly Brenda told her husband "Honey, I know you fuss at me for smokin'. But today it saved my life." She then coughed up a lung, demanded oxygen and collapsed.

Okay that last part didn't happen, I thought I'd just make the obvious joke you health types would, to cut y'all off. See, ol' Rufus is one step up on you fellers. So there.

Now the important question which ain't asked is...what brand of cigarette was she smokin'? Because clearly that company has stumbled onto something and designed a product to protect people from fallin' trees. And I think that surgeon general feller in Washington needs to get off his ol' duff and call for an immediate redesign of cigarette warnings. Change it to somethin' like..."Cigarettes may or may not cause health problems (but they probably don't) but they will protect you from 80 foot oak trees." I could live with that.

Another thing, people made such a fuss a few months back when it was found that big tobacco companies were changing the "so called" addictive properties of cigarettes to make 'em more potent. Well here again health nuts you wrong as wrong can be. If they hadn't monkeyed with the nicotine levels, poor ol' Brenda's nic fit might not have hit at just the moment she was about to be introduced to Alvin and the Chipmunks deluxe condo. One microbe less dioxin in that smoke and she'd be dead as Dillinger right now. I suppose that'd make you health types real happy huh!?!

Well not me baby. I'm glad to know that I live in a world where adjustments in the levels of cigarette chemica....uh...wholesome ingredients can result in people being protected from giant fallin' future reams of paper.

So there it is folks, brought to y'all by the Big Tobacco Blog, irrefutable proof that smokin' saves lives!

YEEEE HAAAAWWWW!

A Classic: You've Come Along Way Baby!

Here's another chestnut from the good ol' days when you could call a gal baby without worryin' about gettin' slapped in the mush. Looky how happy this little filly is with her Virginia Slims. Course not as happy as she be firin' up a smooth, refreshing, cool, Liardare Carolina 100 but whatcha gonna do.

Enjoy!

News Round-Up fer Tuesday

Mornin' everybody.

Well the good folks at RJ Reynolds are bein' forced to cough up - no pun intended - $2 billion for that silly MSA thingy. One can only hope their new pink ribbon cigarette will make up some of that lost money. Good luck boys we're a rootin' fer ya here at the Big Tobacco Blog.

On the positive side, the North Carolina legislature is waterin' down their proposed smokin' ban. The law would now only cover bars where adults are allowed. Wait a second here, does that mean all those bars for kids will have to become smoke-free. That's an outrage!

Speakin' of outrages, Ohio is eliminatin' all smokin' in bars and restaurants on May 1. Similar to yesterday's prediction about casinos, I predict that every bar and restaurant will close just as they did in New York and California.

Nothin' better then Smokin' and Water Skiin'

Don't ya' miss the days when you could water ski and fire 'em up at the same time. I know I do.

Here's a great ol' ad from the 1950's. And I defy y'all to watch this without gettin' that catchy theme song in yer head.

"Smokers who know, now smoke the big O.
Smokers who know, now smoke the big O."

News Round-Up fer Monday

Well don't this just beat all. The Irish have turned against us. According to this story out of...whatever the heck publication this is... pollution inside bars has decreased since they enacted their smokin' ban. In a sign of protest I'm askin' that every one of y'all boycott next year's St. Patrick's day celebratin'.

More bad news. Atlantic City enacted restrictions on smokin' in all their casinos. Obviously, because of this law, all casinos in New Jersey will close immediately, no matter what the New York Times, gaming experts at Poker Mag and those kooks at the British Medical Journal say. And you especially don't want to go this site where people are actually callin' for an all out ban on smokin' in Atlantic City casinos.

On the plus side, there's a brand spankin' new cigarette makin' the rounds. While it ain't from the good folks at Lairdare it's a great marketin' idea. A pink ribbon cigarette for women. You can read more about it here. It really is a brilliant idea, so much so that the folks at Lairdare don't want to miss the boat. I hope you'll help us with our new promotion by takin' a click over at the poll we got running on the Big Tobacco Blog.

Well until next time. Fire 'em up.

Told ya so!

The other day I mentioned that I have a constitutional right to smoke where ever and whenever I dern well please. Well today I'm happy to report that a judge in Colorado is exercisin' my kind of sense. Accordin' to the Denver Post smokin' bans are unconstitutional in Colorado. Somethin' to do with cigar bars and while Lairdare don't sell no cigars, ANY PORT IN A STORM I SAY...YEEE HAAWWW!

Apparently Addams County Judge Robert S. Doyle said the ban violates the due-process rights of bar owners because it don't allow 'em the chance to establish their businesses as cigar bars.

Of course, the real question is why should we limit this just to bars!?! Shouldn't any business be allowed to sell cigars and thus allow smokin' in their establishment? Fer example, what about allowing movie theaters to sell cigars? They could become a movie theater cigar bar. Or how about hospitals that specialize cancer care? Could be a one stop shop.

Before y'all tell me this is too nutty to work check out this great business idea from Smokin' Joe a tobacco maker in Niagara Falls, New York who's on the right track with his "Smokin Joe's Family Fun Center." It's a great place for all your childhood entertainment and cigarette needs. Plus it get them kiddies excited about the Smokin Joe brand.

Cinergy baby, it's all about cinergy!

Auntie Dotal - My Favorite Relative - Goes to New Jersey

Good for the bar and restaurant owners in New Jersey.

In an Associated Press story appearin' throughout the state today, the New Jersey Restaurant Association released new information provin' the smokin' ban is closin' perhaps millions of New Jersey restaurants. The proof is being offered in the form of expert testimony from my favorite relative, good ol' Auntie Dotal. I love Auntie Dotal, you can always count on her. And she makes a mean shoo-fly pie.

Auntie Dotal usually shows anywheres from a month to a year after one of them vile smokin' bans has been put in place. She does all sorts of studyin' where she travels from bar to bar and takes a look see around at what's happenin'. She then reports that information to good folks like smokespeople...uh....spokespeople for bar and tavern groups, smokers rights organizations and other like minded fine upstandin' folks.

Accordin' to the story Deborah Dowdell, president of the New Jersey Restaurant Association, said hundreds of restaurants, bars and taverns have seen sales cut in half while others will be forced to close.

Good old Auntie Dotal is back in town! Oh and never mind none of you smarty pants health types who go and point out things like "this isn't based on any objective meanin'full study" or "this is just one person's opinion" or "what do the hard number say?" Sush I say to y'all. You don't need numbers when you got Auntie Dotal!

And no don't even bother yappin' about that BMJ report "Tobacco Industry Manipulation of the hospitality industry to maintain smoking in public places" from March 2002 that linked the New Jersey Restaurant Association to tobacco companies' efforts to block smokin' bans. Bunch of fuss over nothin'.

Just you wait a couple months from now some other health smarty pants types will probably come out with some study on liquor sales, applications for liquor licenses or unemployment that completely refudiate Aunty's observations. Jerks. Who needs it.

I say Auntie is expert enough for me. So what if the evidence out of California, New York, a dozen other states and several countries shows by and large smokin' bans don't harm businesses in the long term. That doesn't mean things will turn out the same way in New Jersey dag nabbit. And by the way, tobacco companies are businesses and smokin' bans sure as heck harm us!

Look, if Auntie Dotal's word is good enough for restaurant groups and tobacco companies it should be good enough for you! Who's gonna argue with Auntie!?!

Yee Haw Salute - A Doctor I Can Trust

Mornin' y'all, we've got our first Yee Haw Salute!

What's a Yee Haw Salute? Well I'll tell ya. The Yee Haw Salute, son, is the way we honor people for speakin' their minds in the media with the same integrity we use here at the Big Tobacco Blog.

And today's winner is truly a rare thing. A doctor who gets it!

We're proud to award our first Yee Haw Salute to Maryland State Senator Andrew P. Harris, MD. The MD after his name is the key part. That means he's a doctor type. But he's a doctor type who isn't gonna be swayed by little things like common sense or decades of research linking secondhand smoke and cancer. Atta boy Doc!

You see, today's another not so good day for folks like you and me who love to smoke where ever and whenever we dern-well please. The pinheads in the Maryland Senate voted 31-16 to ban smokin' in all bars and restaurants across the state. The bill now goes before the General Assembly on Monday where - of course - it's expected pass as well. Is there no justice in this world!?!

One of the 16 brave ones who're lookin' out for the little feller is Dr. Senator Harris. In today's Baltimore Sun, Dr. Senator Harris points out that these smokin' bans ain't nothin' more than Government intrudin' and at some point you've got to "let people assume the risk."

The doctor displayes more of his trademark brand of public health vision in an article he wrote for a smoker's rights web-site where he compares the risks of so-called secondhand smoke to rock climbin' and white water raftin'. Of course the health nuts would probably say somethin' like "well if I white water raft, you don't tend to get lung cancer from it." But you know how them health fellers - Dr. Senator Harris excluded - like to act like a bunch a smarty paints.

Dr. Senator Harris wisely ignores all this fallderall too and basically says, if ya don't wanna die you just shouldn't be a waitress. Or as he put it, "workers accept those risks in return for wages." YEE HAW! NOW THIS IS THE DOCTOR FOR ME!!!

Dr. Senator Harris your type of public health is an inspiration to us all. On behalf of the employees and addict...uh...cusomters of tobacco companies everywhere, we take off our big ten gallon, light 'em up and yell YEEEEEE HAAAAAW SALLLUTE!

Congratulations Dr. Senator a special carton of smooth rich refreshin' Lairdare Carolina 100's is on the way to you. You can send Dr. Senator Harris a special congratulations of yer own at his email type address: andrew.harris@senate.state.md.us

Cigarette Taxes - Won't they ever learn?

Yee haw y'all.

Although I'm feelin' a little glum this mornin'. You see a bunch of them pointy headed politician types in New York - where else - are talkin' about raising taxes on cigarettes. And - of course - the local papers are fully in support. You can read more about the whole sad circumstance here and here.

Won't these people ever learn. Smokin' is good for public health. Don't believe me, listen to this English feller explain the whole thing. Ever notice how everythin' sounds more credible when it's bein' spoke by an English feller. Don't know why but it does.

More of the Good Old Days - Flinstone's Cig Ad

As I said, I miss the good old days.

This was sent to me as an example of the long history of tobacco companies marketin' to kids.



Of course that's just nonsense. The Flintstones were a PRIME TIME show, clearly aimed at adults. I mean what kid was gonna know Stony Curtis was supposed to be Tony Curtis? Or Ann-Margrock was supposed to be Ann-Margaret?

It's all above their heads - trust me we've done the research.

It does, however, remind me of the really nice marketin' we had all lined up at Lairdare with Top Cat before the government shut us down.

Oh, and don't even get me started on what they did to us over our Tele-Tubbies campaign in 1998. Hey, three things before you judge. One, that campaign was aimed at mom's not kids. Two, who's to say Tinky Winky didn't smoke in his..her...whatever that thing is' off hours? Three, they were LIGHT cigarettes. Reduced harm people, REDUCED.

I Miss the Good Old Days

I miss the good old days.

Days when men were men and you could smoke in places like airplanes, restaurants and child daycare centers. When real guys like John Wayne, Humphrey Bogart, Yul Brenner could light up without fear of anything bad happenin' to em.

I am so sick of hearin' piddly complaints and whinin'. Seems like a feller can't light up anymore without some do gooder violatin' my constitutional right to enjoy a smooth, refreshing, rich Lairdare Carolina Leaf 100(now with 10% less dioxin, visit your local grocery store for more information).

Why just the other day, I was sittin' there mindin' my own business enjoyin' a smoke and some crazy woman comes up and starts yellin' at me.

"Excuse me sir," she said with a false air of politeness. "Would you mind not smoking in here?"

"Why yes I would ma'am," I replied with all the niceatudes I could muster.

"But sir," she droned on. "My baby shouldn't be breathin' in that smoke."

That was the last straw for me. I said "look lady, the Maternity Ward is a public place. If you don't want your baby around smoke go somewhere else. There's plenty of other hospitals in town. That's your right as a consumer!"

Then she screamed somethin' about water breakin' or whatever. I don't know, I stopped listenin'. Made a whole scene over my one, almost harmless, little ol' Carolina 100.

And lemme tell ya somethin' else. Those hospital security fellas, ain't nice.

Yee haw y'all and welcome!

Yee haw y’all!

Welcome to the Big Tobacco Blog. I’m Rufus T. Baccey a former executive for Lairdare Tobacco Company. Although I should be careful mentionin' the name of the company. Don't want to get accused of offerin' free advertisin'. You saw what they did to those NASCAR fellers. Nextel Cup my foot. Winston Cup forever baby!

My goal here at the Big Tobacco Blog is to give you the news you need to know about smoking…unfiltered. Because we all know filters are for wimps. Yup just the honest to goodness, pure as Carolina leaf truth. None of that mamby pamby nonsense you see from oddball wacko fringe publications like the New York Times...or the Washington Post...or the New England Journal of Medicine.

So sit back, relax, take a deep breath (well, as deep as you can we all know that can be difficult sometimes) and light ‘em up baby! And remember, a cough isn't a warnin' sign. Its a badge of honor!