I Miss the Good Old Days

I miss the good old days.

Days when men were men and you could smoke in places like airplanes, restaurants and child daycare centers. When real guys like John Wayne, Humphrey Bogart, Yul Brenner could light up without fear of anything bad happenin' to em.

I am so sick of hearin' piddly complaints and whinin'. Seems like a feller can't light up anymore without some do gooder violatin' my constitutional right to enjoy a smooth, refreshing, rich Lairdare Carolina Leaf 100(now with 10% less dioxin, visit your local grocery store for more information).

Why just the other day, I was sittin' there mindin' my own business enjoyin' a smoke and some crazy woman comes up and starts yellin' at me.

"Excuse me sir," she said with a false air of politeness. "Would you mind not smoking in here?"

"Why yes I would ma'am," I replied with all the niceatudes I could muster.

"But sir," she droned on. "My baby shouldn't be breathin' in that smoke."

That was the last straw for me. I said "look lady, the Maternity Ward is a public place. If you don't want your baby around smoke go somewhere else. There's plenty of other hospitals in town. That's your right as a consumer!"

Then she screamed somethin' about water breakin' or whatever. I don't know, I stopped listenin'. Made a whole scene over my one, almost harmless, little ol' Carolina 100.

And lemme tell ya somethin' else. Those hospital security fellas, ain't nice.