A Lowe's is a Loews...not really

Howdy y'all.

Did ya ever read somethin', take action, and then find out you read the dad blamed thing wrong. I stumbled across this story today about Loews makin' big profits on tobacco. And y'all know me, profits and tobacco are my two favorite words.

Now I see Loews commercials on TV all the time. Think they got Gene Hackman doin' their announcin'. Nice feller, made a better Lex Luther than the guy from Seven. But I'm gettin' off track.

I read the story and got all excited about Loews investin' in cigarettes. Sure I bought the occasional shovel from 'em or here and there some pete moss, but I never knew they was one of the good guys. Who knew Loews made cigarettes? I mean it ain't in their fliers or nothin'.

So I hoped in my nicotine scented white and gold SUV and hauled my way over to the local home improvement big box store to pick up somethin'...anythin' just to show my support for another big tobacco company.

Make a short story long, I mosey up to the counter with a trowel, two piece of ceramic tile, and a roll of plumbers tape. The checkout gal asks me if there's anythin' else I need.

"Yes mam," I replied. "I just want to say that I am proud that yer company is makin' and sellin' cigarettes, and I support yer efforts 100 percent."

The little lady looked at me kind of funny and stated "I'm sorry sir we don't sell cigarettes."

To which I responded, "You don't!?! Well hell's bells chicky you oughter, accordin' to the story I just read Loews profits just rose 26 percent off its cigarette lines. You should be sellin' cigarettes from floor to ceilin', you should be givin' 'em away with the power tools."

I continued on with my strong business argument on why Loews should embrace their tobacco heritage and sell, sell, sell, 'till the cows come home. After about 5 minutes or so the people behind me started fussin' so I figured it was time to move on.

Everyone was lookin' at me like I grew a third eye er somethin'. Well it wasn't until I got home that I figured out why. Apparently there's two Loews. There's Loews the owner of Lorillard tobacco company and then there's Lowe's the home improvement store. Much to my chagrin they're two different companies all together.

Wish I'd read that article more closely before I got to the store. Anybody need a trowel, two piece of ceramic tile, or a roll of plumbers tape?